Yoga is NOT for the weak

Holy MOLY. My husband (who, incidentally, is 9 years my junior and luckily inherited "skinny" genes and is STRONG as an ox) has been bugging me to go to this yoga class that he loves. The teacher is a male, somewhat of a guru, who has a faithful following. He is really great - I must admit. He pushes you to your own PERSONAL limit, but also infuses lightheartedness and laughter into the practice. The man (the teacher guy) does not have ONE ounce of fat on his body and he is flexible in ways that might be illegal in some states.

Well, I finally succumbed to the pressure (this has been going on for months now) and went to the yoga class last night.

It ran from 5:30 to 7pm.

Observation #1 - Anything you do for the first time in a long time should NOT be done for an hour and a half. That was my FIRST mistake. About a half an hour into the class, I knew I was in for trouble. With a capital T. My brain was saying "Uh-oh" but I persevered.

Observation #2 - Downward dog was my unlikely friend. It was the least rigorous pose he had us do (over and over and over and over and over). I have never done so many planks or cobras or kickyourasanas or who'syourdaddyasanas or whatchugonnadoaboutitasanas. It was literally the hardest class I've ever done. (If you're unfamiliar with yoga, an "asana" is a pose.)

Observation #3 - It's probably not the smartest idea to do such a hard class after just getting my back and neck into somewhat "normal" condition. It has literally been a 5 month, not-so-easy road to get my body back into working order.

Observation #4 - Everything hurts. The only two things that do not hurt today are my hair and my nose.

Observation #5 - I have several things I should be doing right now, but it was literally all I could do just to get out and walk the dogs. Everything hurts. (See #4.)

Observation #6 - Even my brain is tired.

Observation #7 - Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was pretty juicy last night. So was Jersey Shore. These two shows demonstrate the low level of brain activity I was able to muster after that yoga-torture class.

Observation #8 - My husband obviously hates me and wants me to die a slow, painful death.

Observation #9 - Sadie, who I have mentioned is quite possibly the dumbest dog on the planet? Well, I'm at about her smartness level today. Somehow the hardness of the yoga class seemed to have stolen cells from my brain and I am only able to think about simple things like, "Wow. I think I should probably take a shower. But that seems like SO much effort. But I really need to shower. Maybe if I just go an roll in the snow, I will maybe get clean? But that means I'd have to take off my clothes. And that seems like SO much effort." This is what I'm dealing with in my own little pea brain today.

Speaking of peabrains - look at how adorable and sweet and soft Sadie looks:
She really feels that soft, too - like velvet. And I love how she has her nose tucked into the snow! SO cute.

Well, that's the update for today. I think I will actually tackle taking a shower and then I have to go to the grocery store and fish market. We are having salmon for dinner tonight, at my sadistic husband's request!

Bye for now.

Pffffffffft. (That's my brain trying to think of something clever to say.)

More casualties of winter

We officially had another 17-18 inches of that stupid white stuff yesterday - you know, that four-letter-word that begins with "s" and ends with CRAP!!!! No, it ends with "w" - it is my enemy and yours, SNOW.

Seriously, we tried to make the best of it. The house was all cozy and warm, I made delicious chili for dinner, we played scrabble on my husband'd beloved iPad, we watched movies, we lounged, we took the dogs out for walks in the snow...We really, really tried to be in the spirit of winter and the prettiness of the snow and all that crap.

It didn't work. I just am done done done done DONE with winter. Last winter was oh, so do-able. This winter? Not. Last winter, we'd have a bit of snow, then it would melt and be nice. This year? Not. As I mentioned previously, this is decidedly NOT what I signed up for and I am NOT amused. Not one iota.

The only member of this house that is enraptured with the snow is, of course, our little, vapid girl, Sadie. She begs to go out almost every 1/2 hour or so. She loves it. She loves to wander in it, sit in it, lie in it, lick it and then the most fun is when she comes in and she has to get rubbed down with a towel! This is great fun in her little pea brain!
Doesn't she look happy?

And then we repeat the cycle over and over and over and over and over! I cannot tell you how many times from her last walk of the day until I go to bed that she asks to go outside. Without exaggerating, it's easily 8 times. From about 6pm to about 11pm she goes out, stays out for probably 15 minutes, starts whimpering at the door (pitiful) and then she gets let in and rubbed down. Then she comes into the living room, lays on the couch for approximately 13.67 minutes and then starts doing laps around the couch where we sit, only stopping to look pitifully at us as if to say that she has never gotten to go out in her entire life and that there is ONE and ONLY thing that will make her happy. Is to go out. AGAIN.

She has us trained well, as you can readily see! Who's the dumb one again?

In any case, she loves loves loves going out, so we let her out and then our other dog Koty just looks at us and sighs. He's just sick to death of Sadie and her retardedness. Oftentimes when she comes in from being outside (in our back yard), Koty is laying nearby on one of the orthopedic dog beds (they have it rough, I tell ya). Sadie, in her state of elation upon being let in almost always goes over and walks all over Koty's head. She has no boundaries, that one. And, Koty, instead of getting mad at Sadie, looks at me with this disgusted, quizzical look like "Why on EARTH is she living here again? Who decided that would be a good idea?"

Koty enjoys the snow to a lesser extent. The best part is that squirrels are easier to see. Here he is on his ritual morning squirrel hunt:
All I have to do to get Koty out is to ask - very quietly "Are they out there?????!!!" and he goes running, as fast as he can, to the back door and then he jumps around, barking, as if to say "LEMMME GETTTEM!!" He really hates squirrels. They are scum. So are cats, rats, huskies, German shepherds and anything else that might catch his eye!

Oh. Here comes Sadie again now. I'm in the kitchen on my computer and Sadie is ambling up to me again. She was literally outside 10 minutes ago and now thinks it's time again. Anyone out there want a dog?

So, let's get on to the subject of this here post. My huge butterfly bush in the back yard is taking a proverbial beating this winter. I have had this thing for probably 7 years now and NEVER has the snow caused such damage. I'm really afraid of what might happen to it. We lost the main part of the butterfly bush yesterday. A HUGE section snapped right off. Look at what remains:
There is that one clump sticking up and that's about it. The rest is either destroyed or about to be. It's not in good shape. I'm really hoping it'll survive the winter. Jeez. Never have we had so much trouble with snow destroying our plants. NOT HAPPY!

Well, that's about it. Another rant about our dumb dog and the dumb weather. 23 days until we're on our vacation.

Happy Thursday, kids!

Hasta la vista!

Digging out

What a winter we're having.

Another Oy to the Vey in a big, big way.

We have officially gotten like 12 inches and it is STILL coming down. Even the dogs are like "Huh? ANOTHER snowstorm? Ummm, we've had enough!"

Our one dog, Koty, who generally adores the snow, wouldn't even go OUT this morning! He took one look at the back yard and was like "Uhh, I don't THINK so!" and he turned around and went back to wait for his breakfast! No interest in the snow!!

You know it's a bad winter when the dogs are even sick of it!!

The only positive that we can find is that it is very pretty. Here's a looky at the back yard:
Pretty, no?

Well, that's about all there is to report. We watched a movie, we played scrabble, I played a trivia thing online. Generally, a nice, quiet day here in the arctic.

Next important line of business - what to have for dinner? Big, important decisions to be made!

Hope the rest of you are warm and safe and sound.

Talk at you again soon.

Josh Groban Sings Kanye West Tweets

Now, don't get me wrong - I really do love many of Kanye West's songs. I think the guy is super talented. He just needs a full-time sensor. The guy is particularly good at putting his foot and other body parts right there in his mouth. This video pokes fun at our Kanye and totally cracks me right up! Hope you enjoy!



P.S. We are totally snowed in, so this is all I could muster today!

Ciao!

The dog days of winter

I know. There is no such thing as the dog days of winter. What do you call it when everyone you know is just SICK.TO.DEATH. of the cold and snow already? Oh, it's been quite the scene, man. We had big snow the weekend of Christmas, then a little more snow (a do-able storm with just a couple inches) and now tomorrow? They are saying that we can expect anywhere from 15-18 inches.

Well, my friends, that is utter bullshit! Sorry for the swearing, but, really? Do we REALLY need more snow? REALLY? I think not. This is not what was advertised when I moved to Massachusetts. This is turning into a real, live winter with really cold temperatures and waaaaaaaay too much snow for my liking. I am NOT amused.

I did manage to get a power walk in today and did a bunch of errands in advance of the friggin' arctic tundra that is going to be our world tomorrow. NOT HAPPY. Did I mention that already? That I'm not thrilled about the impending weather? I thought I'd just reiterate that in case you missed it the first time. Oy vey.

It is the proverbial calm before the storm outside right now. There is not a breath of wind, everything is still. Maybe the snow will miss us, right? Maybe there will be some sort of miracle and the Red Sea will part and Moses will lead the snow out of Egypt. That's how the story goes, right? Another Oy and another vey.

So, the good news is that I'm losing weight quite rapidly and feel so much better! I know a lot of it is water weight, as my husband and I have also stopped drinking anything with alcohol in it. Amazing, really, how many empty calories it has and also the amount of water weight one gains just by imbibing. My face looks different in just a week - puffiness is gone. So, I got that going for me!

In the world of planty-type things, I'm working on finding some interesting dried elements to go in a client's house - there are SO many to choose from!

I particularly like these, called Victorian Birch:


And natural birch:


And I really love these - silver dollar branches:Aren't they terrific?

She has 5 large planters for me to fill with branches, etc, and then a smaller one, as well...This is fun stuff - I get to let my imagination run with it!

So, that's all that's happening in the plant department at the moment. Will do a cut flower arrangement for the house soon - need to keep practice!

Hope you are all staying warm & having a happy, healthy New Year! 25 days until we go on our trip!! Woo HOO!

Talk at you soon!