Betty White RULES!

I seriously have had a woman-crush on Betty White for my entire life!

I remember her sassy comments and spunky attitude even when I was a small tyke watching Match Game on television!

I was fascinated by this woman who was clearly SO bright, funny, interesting AND beautiful. I wanted to be just like her. Just found out her birthday is the same as my momma's except she was born in 1922.

So, that makes Betty White 92 years old right now and she looks fantastic, is still as bright, funny and interesting as she was back in the day when I was watching her on television in the 70s. So, in the 70s that means she was my age! I'm a ripe old 49 right now - rounding the bend to 50! Holy crap. I sure don't feel like I'm a half century old.

Frankly, since I don't FEEL that old and I quite obviously don't ACT that old and I'm probably one of the most ridiculous people I know (my friend Karen is the only one that might be more ridiculous!) in that I'm silly almost all the time. Unless I'm crying. Those are my two emotions. Crying and silly. There's rarely an in between!

I guess that makes me a weirdo. But I'm okay with it. I really am. I don't feel the need for drugs or anything to squelch my weirdness. I like it.

My husband likes it too. So do my dogs - in fact, I feel sort of like I've been a dog in a former life. I just "get" dogs. Cats, not so much - well, SOME cats I get. Like my Aunt's cat Sandy. And Bootsy. And Charlie. I really loved those kitties. And I even love TC - mow mow mow mow mow!! And I loved my kitty Venetia (she was awesome - had one blue and one green eye) and my neighbor's kitty Trill who used to knock on my door (not kidding) so she could come over for a nap on my bed and some tuna that I kept on hand for her.

So, during my whale research days, I'd often contend that humpback whales were the "dogs" of the whale world and fin whales were much more like cats. Fin whales are aloof, swift, efficient and generally loners.

Humpbacks are like dogs in that they are very gregarious - they don't live in pods but they build long-term relationships with others - particularly the females and particularly when the females are pregnant at the same time. And, frankly, the idea of a pod is a human-made fallacy. Just because someone isn't next to me spatially, doesn't mean I'm not in touch with them or thinking of them or communicating with them in some other way. Whales don't need telephones or computers - they have voices that carry across ocean basins. The same with elephants. Their subsonic emanations can be heard up to 100 miles away or more...All depends on the atmospheric conditions. Likely the same goes for whales. Ship noise and drilling and submarines and all the other "noise" we create under water has an effect on those low-frequency sounds that the whales use to communicate over long distances.

My goodness. I have no idea where I'm going with all of this! : )

Queen of the Non-Sequiter!

So, dogs, cats, whales and elephants. Three of those are among my most favorite things on this planet of ours. Sorry, cats, I just don't get you like I get those other critters.

Which, of course, brings me back to Betty White, right?

? WTF ? Well, I guess she's one of my favorite critters, too!  : )

SOooooo, the reason I came on here today was to share Betty White's new AARP commercial. She's honestly the BEST!

Here it be!

And for your other viewing pleasure, here are some pictures of "MY" whales - I studied these wonderful creatures and spent more hours on the ocean than I did on land for nearly 30 years. These are photos I was lucky enough to have taken myself! Great stuff...

My friend "Apex" just about a mile off the Gloucester, MA, coast.

I don't remember who this whale is, but it was an exciting day for us to watch him or her eat! I think it may be a whale named "Sockeye" - after the type of salmon. Sockeye's jaw is deformed in that he has a huge underbite! However, he's a champion eater and is none the worse for his deformity.

Here's Sockeye's jaw - see how his upper jaw fits down in that lower jaw so nicely!!
 Like a big bulldog smooshy face!

This is Sockeye's tail. Note the large orca teeth scars on the top edges. Those scars remain for the life of the whale. Transient orcas prey on other marine mammals, as opposed to the more peaceful resident orcas of the world. Some of the orcas are a little "titched" in the head and prefer to eat their brethren. Yeesh.

This is a whale named "Tulip" - she has a unique marking on the underside of her tail that resembles a tulip. Of course this is not her "real" name! We don't know how whales address each other quite yet...There are a variety of sounds they make when they're calling to each other, different ones when they're eating together, and other ones at other times and situations. The whale song that everyone talks about and hears are generally thought of as a mating ritual with males singing being coincident with hormonal fluctuations, primarily during the fall and winter. However, there have been many, many documented incidents of song being heard during the summer, as well. They are still very mysterious, amazing animals. We don't even know how long they live, but there is evidence done through carbon dating that suggests that at least the Northern Right Whales may have a life span of 200 years or more! Amazing stuff.
 Imagine the stories these whales can tell after living for that long. It's fascinating to think...

My BEST pal, "Spoon" named for her "spoon-like" dorsal fin. I love this whale. She does everything well. She only gets pregnant on occasion. Otherwise she eats and sleeps. My kinda gal. Her son, "Colt" is known as the friendliest humpback whale in the North Atlantic. WATCH HIS VIDEO here!

 COLT in action!

I can't wait to visit my friends, human and otherwise, when I visit Massachusetts in just 8 days! Yipppeeee!

Russell Wilson. A real life hero.

READ THIS!! Russell Wilson, NFL quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks.

My kinda guy.

This is worth the 2 minutes it'll take to read.

The world and especially the NFL needs more men like this.

Kudos.

New Website - The FlowerSmith

Heyo.

No rant for now (odd).

Just wanted to shamelessly promote my new website which I hope to finish up this week. So many photos to sort through after 8 years of doing business in MA.

So, anywho, take a looksee and tell me whatcha think!

CLICK HERE for it!

I Am Officially A Crabby Old Fart!

Ohhhh, I'm just pissy lately.

My phone has been on the fritz for a week, I'm having a doozy of a period, my back hurts, I have a groin pull, arthritis in BOTH hands now (so fun), I have degenerative disc disease in my back and neck, my husband mistakenly head-butted me right on my nose as he was turning over in bed yesterday morning (OWCH) and I just got the nastiest set of messages from a certain person on facebook trying to make me feel GUILTY for not calling one of my relatives.

Well. Let's see.

I live in effing Alaska.

Do I have phone service in Alaska?

No.

Why, you ask?

Well, Apple sent me an "update" for my phone. That little gem of a thing made my phone do very bad things and completely locked my phone out. So, I can't UNLOCK it and I also cannot ACTIVATE my new AT&T service unless I go and visit one of the other states in the goddamn United States.

Now I've learned on facebook that others are all having issues with their phones, as well.

Just so happens I'm heading to Massachusetts in October, so once I enter into Seattle, I should hopefully miraculously have phone service again. Unbelieveable.

So, that said - can I make a phone call right now?

NOOOOOO! I CANNOT!

So, hey there Miss Guilt Trippy person. F*CK *FF.

Unreal.

Does the phrase "Mind your own business" mean anything? Ever heard of that?

And, last I checked, phones work in both directions. If my relative wanted to speak with me? HE. IS. CAPABLE. OF. USING. A. TELEPHONE.

Oh, I'm just all in tither about that little exchange on facebook. I kept saying "I HAVE NO SERVICE" and she kept right on saying how it just "breaks her heart" when she asks my relative if he's heard from me and he says, "No...maybe tomorrow..."

Good LORD.

I just talked to him for an hour on Sunday.

Oh, I'm pissy.

So, today's lesson? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

The other lesson? You do YOU, and I'll do ME.

Another lesson? Don't try to guilt other people. It's a type of control and it's bully-ish and frankly, you simply don't know what the hell you're talking about.

And the FINAL lesson? If you're so goddamn perfect, why your life be so messed up?

The worst part of all of this is I feel terrible for her. She's pregnant. AGAIN.

The father of this child - who she is about to marry - is a guy who's been arrested on domestic violence charges.

More than once.

And those are just a couple of things with her.

And SHE'S worried about my phone call frequency?

Riiiight.

I'd rather say she's got bigger effing fish to fry, wouldn't you?

So. There's that.

In an effort to feel better (which I do now), I will leave you with a couple glam pics from my trip to Columbus Air Force Base, where they had the MOST beautiful Air Force Military Ball! It was really something else. I danced the night away with their incredible band and all my relatives that I love so very much! Here are pics from the graduation day and that night:

This is decidedly not from the Columbus visit! This is my co-pilot, Phoebe!
We were on our way home from Seward when I took this.

My crazy, wonderful cousins! Both are pilots now for the Air Force, flying C-17s!
So COOL! Bless them both!

Doesn't this look like Snoopy? I love this picture!

Fun with airplanes! This is one of the training jets.

At the Ball, daaaahling! That's my cute purse in the foreground! My Auntie bought that for me and I LOVE it.
That's my beautiful Auntie in purple. And my wonderful Uncle is right next to her. I adore these humans.

One FIIIINE looking group, if I do say so myself!

Earth.nullschool.net - absolutely super!

LOOKIT THIS COOL MAP!


A must see for any meteorology fans out there! (Plus it's really pretty when it gets running.)

http://earth.nullschool.net/#current/wind/isobaric/1000hPa/orthographic=-62.05,43.14,352

And then after the smart, cool stuff, I'll leave you with this document that was sent to me a while back.

It kills me dead every single time I look at it!  Warning - I'm a weirdo!

An excerpt from the scholarly publication The Journal of Everything  entitled Chicken:

The full version goes on for three pages replete with flow charts, pie graphs,
other graphs and a page of cited references.

All. The. Word. Chicken!!

I love this!

This is for my mom and dad.

So, this is a draft that I never published from November of 2012. This was a turning point in my depression. It had started to shift because I had decided to stop fighting and I decided that I was just gonna forge ahead. I didn't realize at the time, that things were going to get worse before they got better, but I at least had decided that I wasn't gonna off myself or do something stupid. I also stopped drinking for about a year to clear the cobwebs from my sad brain.  All were essential elements in my recovery from such monumental sadness.

Anyway, this is interesting to read now that I'm on the other side of the depression...it's like reading words from an entirely different person!

Here it is:




Hi.

I know I don't post often and it's basically because I have absolutely nothing nice to say right now. Except that I've got some really good friends and relatives that worry and care about me even though I don't even seem to care too much about myself sometimes. I'm very thankful to have these people in my life who actually seem to give a sh*t if I'm eating or sleeping or even remotely functioning.

I'll tell you what. I can only hope and pray that things will get better.

Just when I think,

"Well, THIS! This is the worst things could possibly get, right? This is the final bad piece of news or nasty thing that's going to happen, and then it's GOT to get better, right? RIGHT? PLEEEAAAASE let this be the last crap thing that has to happen for a long while, okay? I would really like to have a sense of peace again. Even just for a little bit."

Well, just when I've gotten over piece of crap #1, #2 and #3, here comes #4 through #8 to follow right behind.

I said to my mom the other day, I just don't DO drama. It's not me. I don't like it and I won't have it.

Well, even though I may protest the drama, it keeps on knocking. 

It's an unstoppable chain of ridiculousness. There are times when it just gets to the point that I have to just shake my head at it. I don't even cry when then next crap thing happens. I just try try try to solve the issue as best I can and move forward. Sometimes I cry - don't get me wrong - but the daily sobfest at least is over for now.

So, that's why I don't write. I am tired of listening to my own sad story and the next horrible thing that has happened. I won't go into details because the most recent subject matter doesn't even deserve the words on this screen.

Yeah! What SHE said!

“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” 
― Thomas à Kempis

So, my best friend in the world, Karen, is a writer. An excellent writer. Puts me to shame and I think I'm pretty darn good at expressing myself. 

Karen does it with such finesse and humor. Like Erma Bombeck, that one...

She has her own very successful blog, Bye Bye, Pie and she also writes for an online magazine called Purple Clover. Here's her most recent article that talks about the introvert/extrovert conundrum.

I recently read a wonderful book called "Quiet" written by Susan Cain. It talks about the introvert/extrovert thing and also about a category that most people don't know about called "ambivert" - which is how I identify myself. Most people would say that I'm an extrovert. And I partially am. But when I took the test in the book to see what my deeper self is? Sixteen out of twenty questions indicate that I'm a tried and true introvert. I just have mad extrovert skillz that I employ when I'm feeling the need to connect with others. It certainly doesn't mean that I'm dumb or have only that one set of skills! 

I'm a big-picture thinker and very creative. I love art and music and reading. I REQUIRE my alone time each day. Right now, for instance, I'm writing, the dogs are snoring, and I have NPR going in the background. I've not said a word since my husband left for work - except to talk to the dogs and mutter to myself!

Which brings me to my rant du jour.

I was at a restaurant that I frequent here in Alaska. I've dropped major coinage in that joint and I have made several friends just by sitting there at the bar or having coffee in the morning or having a lunch there with my husband, friends and colleagues.

Well, we had a big dramatic thing happen here at the house (which I wrote about when it happened) and it really, really shook me up. After the drama of the morning had passed and everything had settled down, I went to that restaurant for a bite to eat and to have a glass of wine with my friend who also had experienced the same drama.

I, of course, know the staff at this restaurant VERY well - many of them have had lunch or dinner here at my house, some have come over to play music and some even attended my wedding!

ANNNYway, after the drama-filled day, as I was waiting to get my food at the restaurant, the lady that runs the restaurant (who I happen to like very much) basically told me that I needed to stop telling her staff what had happened to me that morning...

? ? ?

Excuse me? 

She was trying to do the very thing that my ex-husband used to do which is edit me. And nothing raises my ire more than someone shushing me or telling me what I can or cannot say. 

What the WHAT? 

OOOO, I was mad. REALLY mad. And frankly, I was very hurt. It doesn't feel very good to be treated like I'm a three year old and talking out of turn. 

So, here's the thing that relates to my friend's article in Purple Clover today. I understand I am very gregarious and that most people really kinda like me and are drawn to my outgoingness. I am happy that people seem to genuinely like me because there are a lot of people here in Alaska that I've met that are really smart, cool and interesting peeps.

But don't BLAME me for that. Don't tell me that I cannot speak to people that are my friends. 

Just because you're maybe more introverted or don't like to hear about my dramatic morning doesn't mean you have the right to tell ME what I can or cannot say.

Damnit. It really gets me all ired up when someone does crap like that. I hate hate hate seeing other people editing (trying to control) other people. Like my friend who had us over for a dinner party one evening and her husband proceeded to tell her how much wine she was "allowed" to have. This gem of a guy also made her "weigh in" to make sure she was not getting fat.

Can you fucking imagine? I'd have taken that scale and cracked it over his thick, stupid skull! What an asshole.

So, that's my rant. Just leave the adults to their own devices  - unless of course, they're hurting themselves or someone else. 

Yes. This is what I'm wearing today.

Yes. I'm wearing mascara.

Yes. That's what I want to eat on my baked potato.

Yes. I did not exercise today because I was too busy cleaning the house, cooking, doing laundry, taking care of the dogs, grocery shopping, gardening, dusting and varnishing the wood on our boat. Oh, and I balanced the bank account, paid bills and also did some work for my clients.

Yes. I would rather be struggling by myself and working three jobs than have ANYONE tell me what I can or cannot do. Those are MY decisions to make because I'm a fucking adult and even my PARENTS were never as controlling as you are.

Ugh. I guess I have identified a hot button issue for me!  : )

I do feel better now. 

Here's a simple quiz you can take to see for yourself if your beloved is not treating you with utter respect and love: Take the Quiz.

Thanks!

“There are those whose primary ability is to spin wheels of manipulation. It is their second skin and without these spinning wheels, they simply do not know how to function. They are like toys on wheels of manipulation and control. If you remove one of the wheels, they'll never be able to feel secure, be whole.”
― C. JoyBell C.