About writing...

Some of my friends I know are concerned for my well-being due to living here in Alaska and experiencing my first winter here. The perception is that it's dark 24 hours a day, that no one goes out, that it's a frozen wasteland filled with transient people with guns, that everyone is an alcoholic and that there is nothing to do except build fires and hope the polar bears and moose don't getcha!

Well, the moose part is true.

And the transient people part is partially true.

And the gun part is also partially true.

However, the rest of the overwhelming perceptions of Alaska are just not true. There are people I know who have been born and raised here. And there are a lot of native Alaskans who are Inuit, Inupiat, Aleut, Wolf Clan...There are people from every culture imaginable and subsequently, the food is TO DIE FOR! Awesome Thai food, Mexican, Spanish, French, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, Mongolian...There are significant Hawaiian, Russian and Samoan populations and people from different countries in Africa - notably The Sudan and South Africa.

It's an interesting place for sure. And it's NOT DARK ALL THE TIME! We have gorgeous, bright sunlight right now from about 9am to 4:30pm. It will reduce a bit as we head toward the equinox in December. The sun, as my friend Carol Ann noticed in my pictures, is at a different angle up here at this time of year. It's not so high up in the sky, but it's intense and shines against the mountains and ocean in the loveliest way.

The coolest parts of living in Alaska are the mountains and volcanoes and their juxtaposition with the Pacific ocean for sure. They are spectacular and different every day. The critters here are fascinating, as well. Strange and amazing from the whales to the birds to the bears to the moose.

My husband had surgery on Thursday morning (he's doing much better today - yesterday was not so hot) and I came home to prep the house for his arrival and let the dogs out. Well, I noticed some movement in the front yard and jumped about a mile when I looked out our picture window to see a BIG BIG BIG momma moose just a few feet from the window!! She had apparently decided the pumpkins by my front door and the mountain ash and mountain laurel in the front yard were too tasty to pass up!

Pre-surgery at the hospital.

Munching on the small mountain ash in the front yard!

Moving over to the mountain laurel!

Now munching on the pumpkins by Kelly's truck!

Eating shoots in the neighbor's garden. Look how TALL she is!

View of the Chugach from the hospital cafeteria.
It was a lovely morning. I watched the moon set and then the sun rise.

Here's the moon setting - it was a big, full moon called the Beaver Moon or the Full Frost Moon.
It was low and orange like the Harvest moon we see in Massachusetts in October.

So, in the pictures you can clearly see the sun. It rises in the morning just over the Chugach Mountains and then makes its way Westward to set in the early evening. It's not a vast tundra here  - Anchorage has 350,000 people! We've got skyscrapers, roads, schools, churches, two giant Universities, a vibrant food, arts and music scene. Loads of creative, nice people, world-class athletes, adventurers and artists of all varieties. Many of my friends are poets, writers, musicians and service people - restauranteurs, servers, engineers, landscapers. 

There IS frozen tundra but that's in the interior of Alaska and up north. We are about as far south as you can get and still be in Alaska. We're located right there by the Yukon Territory and across the way, not so far, is Russia. There's currently a typhoon barreling its way toward the Bering Sea, and that's a 1000 miles to our North. We'll get some rain and wind, called a Chinook, but we won't see the 45 foot seas that are predicted in its wake.

My friends in Massachusetts are concerned that I sit in the house, with the wind-driven snow piling up outside my door. That I never leave the house and I just sit here with my books and notebooks and journals and sit in front of my computer all day. Well, that's not the case!

I'm out and about every day! I have two dogs, a husband, a 19-year old friend living here (who is very much like my adopted daughter). I do laundry almost every day. I cook loads of goodies, meet friends out for lunch. When Mr. Big and Tall isn't recovering from surgery, we often head out for a drink and appetizers in the evenings or do yard work together. We go for hikes and kayak paddles and go birdwatching and whale watching on the coast. We go out with friends to watch football games on the weekends, we have friends over for dinner at least 2 or 3 times a month. Loads of people do the "pop-in" - so there are lots of impromptu get-togethers with people. My neighbors are very neighborly and everyone exchanges food and conversation. EVERYONE gardens here and has at least one dog. My neighbor next door? She has seven sled dogs! 

Truth be told, I'm more active and go more places and do more things now than I ever did. My go-to in Massachusetts was my beloved boat. And when I got divorced I no longer had boaty to play with, so I resorted to lots of long walks to fill that void. 

So, I appreciate everyone's concern for my well-being. I'm actually really happy here! My trip to Massachusetts was a bittersweet one - bitter in that I miss my friends and Salem and all that is so familiar. It was sweet, as well, in that being there and seeing all those things that are a little too familiar like my ex's real estate signs everywhere and reminders of my life with him and my poor doggies that passed away - it's sweet to be away from those reminders. 

Coming back to Alaska with my husband, my new little doggies, my new friends, my new environment, my new lease on life - it  is completely sweet with no bitter at all. No regrets. Forge ahead. New frontier, new challenges, renewal of spirit.

Thanks for reading!

Here's a wonderful essay about the art of writing. I found it fascinating.

Hasta la vista.

A Message to Adults...BE KIND to yourselves!

That video kind of says it all.

For quite some time I've lived with other women. As a housemate/roommate for five years and then another stint recently for a little over a year.

Women are SO hard on themselves. And it turns out that nearly as many men secretly also sort of despise their bodies. Body dysmorphic disorder is alive and well. Or rather alive and UNwell. I  suffered from it almost my entire life.

Here's a wonderful essay about body dysmorphic disorder if you don't know about it.

I remember even being a child and feeling so huge and fat next to my skinny friend, Karen. I always felt like a moose around her. By 5th grade I was the tallest kid in my class, felt enormous, had boobs and had started my period before any of the other girls. I hid my body as best I could and stayed home when my period would arrive each month.

This feeling of shame about my body continued on into my teens and then into college when I finally became a full on anorexic person. I carefully measured what I ate and I exercised like a fiend. So much so that I developed severe plantar fasciitis in both feet. So bad in my right foot that I have permanent scar tissue. Both of my knees were nearly blown out, as well.

All because I felt fat and hated my beautiful, strong body. My genetics are such that I tend toward being athletically inclined - I have fairly big bones and lots of muscle mass. In my teen years and early 20s I saw this as a flaw. I was unable to be one of those waify, skinny, long-legged women that were in the magazines and also some were my friends. Many of my friends were gazelle-like, skinny and also athletic.

When I get athletic? My muscles respond by getting BIGGER. So, my bike racing and running actually made my thighs bigger. However, I weighed only 113 pounds. On my frame? That's bone thin. I see pictures of me back then and I cannot believe I looked that way - collar bones and ribs showing. My face was gaunt. I remember being constantly hungry.

I am 5 foot 6 and I currently weigh about 160 pounds.

I look good, I feel good, I rarely get sick. I'm fit as a fiddle, have strong, happy muscles (except for the groin pull!) and am very active. Hiking, gardening, kayaking, biking, walking everywhere...So, here I am about 50 pounds heavier, 25 years older and I FINALLY like how I look. Jeez. Took long enough.

I do my utmost to cease comparing my body to others' bodies. Most of the 20-somethings I know are unsatisfied with their bodies. They are "on diets" or go to great lengths to work out at a gym even though they're more active than 90% of the humans on the planet!

My point is that when we turn the tables on ourselves, it actually makes everything better. Instead of me resenting my muscular thighs and big, strong bones, I now celebrate them! I'm so lucky that I will likely not suffer from osteoporosis and that my muscles burn more calories than someone who is skinny but has less muscle mass!

Muscle weighs more than fat. It's a fact, Jack! SO, yeah! I weigh a lot compared to many other 5 foot 6 inch ladies. However, I can eat a lot more and still maintain my weight and shapeliness because of those big muscles of mine. What a gift!

When I became thankful for my strong, healthy (mostly) body, I began to feel different from the inside out. I ate better food to fuel my body, got healthier because of it, became more active because my energy got better...

It doesn't always have to be a "vicious" circle. Sometimes the circle can be kind and self-fulfilling in a good way.

My therapist beat it into my head that it's truly important to be kind to yourself. Be forgiving. If you don't treat yourself well, how on EARTH do you expect others to treat you well? And her main point was:

We surround ourselves with people who treat us the way we feel we deserve to be treated. 

If you are constantly beating yourself up, telling yourself that you're fat and whatever other negative bullshit - well, that's what you're gonna attract. People who don't value you and appreciate the fine qualities that you possess.

So please! Please stop being so harsh on yourselves, people! It doesn't serve any purpose except to keep you down and make you feel shitty.

Ok. I'm done.

Please send good ju-ju our way. My husband is going in for surgery early early tomorrow morning to repair a torn ACL and torn biceps. Gonna be a long day.

Thanks for reading and ciao for now.

I love this!

The FlowerSmith Website

My hydrangeas on the side of the Derby Street house. Yummy.

Angelonia in a pot by the back door.

Eggplant blossom!
I grew these in raised beds in our parking area...
They did very well. Small, sweet eggplants.

Gorgeous butterfly enjoying the nectar on one of the
oversized butterfly bushes in the backyard.

I don't know why this has taken me so long!


Ridiculous!

Anyway, my website is almost done. More photos to load and some tweaking to do here and there, but it's basically allllmost done!

Let me know what you think!

Click here: The FlowerSmith

Fall pretties with bunny tail grass, sweet potato vine, chili peppers and kale.

Purple asters provide a bit of bright color to this arrangement.

Grasses, pumpkins, kale...

Winter doesn't have to be bleak!

A festive wreath, garland and planter for the holidays!

Twin Peaks, Eklutna Lake and Surface Hoar (terrible title there)

Hey! So yesterday was, Mr. Big and Tall (the husband) gets-to-do-whatever-he-wants day because he's having surgery on his shoulder and torn biceps this coming Thursday. Poor guy feels like his body is failing, but what he DOESN'T take into account is that he's not a spring chicken and he has basically abused his poor body since he was in his teens.

What with the trail blazing and guiding and kayaking and rafting and hiking and going here and there with the rescuing and firefighting and traveling. Not to mention his job where he works 40++ hours a week and then when he's home? He's working on stuff. Building a new wood shed, cutting firewood, mowing the lawn, home repairs, handyman stuff.

What I'm TRYING to say is that Mr. B&T's body has served him quite well, if you ask me, given all of the abuse it has endured in the last 58+ years. I, of course, am quite a lot younger than he - had my first terrible back injury at 22 and then have been on the downward spiral with my damn back and my knees and my feet. I was addicted to cycling and running for years, so I managed to wreck my feet and knees in the process. Then, overuse and genetics presented me with the sexy condition known as degenerative disc disease all through my back and neck. Oh, it's a scene, man.

ANNNNYway, I'm currently nursing a back spasm (from the disc disease deal) and a groin pull. Yes. I know you're jealous. Deal with it.

Which leads me to yesterday? Well, in my head it does! Here we are, our merry crew on the way to Eklutna Lake in the Chugach Mountains. Only about 30 minutes from the house, just past Eagle River. The dogs were excited and wanted nothing to do with the comfy beds that Mr. B and T had set up behind our front seats. Nope. They had to be all up in our bidness the WHOLE RIDE.

Phoobles and Jaxie = best buddies

Wherever Phoobies goes, Jaxie follows! Like a little white Phoebe magnet!

Icy beach leading to Eklutna Lake.

Video of a nearly-frozen stream we crossed.

Mr. B and T with Jaxie! Phoebe was way out front!

So, we walked in one direction for a while until we were rudely interrupted by people going WAAAY too fast on ATVs scared the bejeezus out of us. We backtracked and then headed the other direction through some beautiful wooded trails. On that trail, I noticed these interesting ice formations that covered the fields by the woods - and covered most of the bushes and tree limbs. On the ground it's called surface hoar. On the limbs it's called air hoar. They're beautiful, somewhat regular ice crystals - classified as a type of snow. They're GORGEOUS and fascinating. I spent a good 20 minutes just studying this stuff and trying to capture it on my camera:

Triangular surface hoar. SOOO pretty.

This was more like cornflakes - but imagine a whole field of this stuff! 

And it makes a neat crunch when you step on it.

This is air hoar on a branch. Stunningly pretty up close.

Jaxie and Beebles.

A beautiful hillside with dramatic peaks behind.
There were sheep on the mountain, maybe 12-15 of them.

Eklutna Lake through the trees.

Twin Peaks (as in the TV show!)

Another shot of Twin Peaks as we were driving out.

A beautiful, chilly afternoon in the mountains topped off by a lovely lunch at the Eagle River Alehouse, watching the Patriots stomp all over the Broncos! Not a bad Sunday...

Hope you all had a great weekend. 

Ciao for today.