Uno Mas for your giggling pleasure

Getting ready for a biiiig yard sale tomorrow - so here's THIS!!

The Roots, Jimmy Fallon and Madonna!

BOOM!

We all need a Holiday, right?

Ciao for today. Busy day today!

xoxo

Happy Birthday to Jane Gooddall! And stuff.

A bit of a trip around some places I've been and loved:

Buckingham Palace in London.

Ivan's Stress-Free restaurant and resort on Jost Van Dyke in the British Virgin Islands.

Snorkeled with cuttlefish in many locations now. They are the COOLEST critters.
There was a whole family of them and they kept following me around
as I was snorkeling in Roatan, Honduras.

My most favorite whale in the entire world, Spoon.

Conch in my yard in Salem. That conch is now here in Alaska!

This was taken by a professional photographer when I was coming home from walking the dogs.
He was enamoured by my house and my puppies!
That wreath is now on my front door here in Anchorage.
(And I've lost about 40 pounds since this was taken!)

This is where I would take the dogs most mornings so Koty could swim.
(He is all wet in the above picture.)
This is Salem Harbor looking out toward Marblehead.
Morning fog was just burning off. 

Kenai Lake last summer. Incredible. Those are the Chugach Mountains
over yonder and the Kenais are behind me.

Well, I got up earlier than I had wanted because of the coughing fits that plague me now. There is a "bowl" formed by the mountains that surround Anchorage, and during the spring it is a big dust bowl. Terrible particulate dust that permeates everything. And it's just so dry dry dry that the dust just flows down from the mountains and shoots down the streets in the city.

I've got a humidifier going in the house - more than a gallon disappears each day!

We luckily live in a log cabin, so the wood retains the water and makes it more livable, but, as anyone who knows me will tell you? I like to be outside! I go stir crazy if I'm in the house too long.

So I go out, do some gardening or whatever and then I have to come back inside to get my humidity on. Yeesh. Weird stuff in Alaska to contend with.

I was unsure what I was going to blog about today and then I flipped on Facebook for a few minutes and there was the video I've seen a bunch of times of Jane Gooddall and her team releasing a chimpanzee back to the wild.

The chimp doesn't leave right away. Instead he hugs the main handler and then he goes up to the top of his cage and gives Jane Gooddall a giant, giant hug.

Now, mind you, this looks all sweet and cuddly, but - anyone who knows about these animals knows that that chimpanzee could kill all of those five people that were there to release her. They are powerful and athletic and have HUGE teeth.

That's why, for so long, I've partially worked and given money to organizations that help prevent the smuggling or breeding wild critters into domestic situations. People who have Lynx or Lions for pets. Or monkeys that are not service animals. It's not right for the people involved OR the critter. Even tropical fish - if they're not properly cared for and maintained in just the right way? They suffer and then die.

Likewise people who do not know how to handle dogs properly? Should not have dogs. Even little chihuahuas can be very dangerous. They are fiercely protective and can cause a lot of damage to a hand or face - especially children.

My dog Koty, who was 12 and very very docile, was attacked by an American Bulldog. My dog was on the leash walking with my husband, my other dog Sadie and me. The owner luckily was home, but it took us all about 15 minutes to get that Bulldog to unlatch its jaws from my Koty's throat.

200 stitches and a lot of tears and strife and two overnight surgeries put him back together, but he was never the same. He died of a liver infection a year later. We were all never the same. Sadie died shortly thereafter.

Those people, by the way, that had that dangerous animal? They had two tiny children - little girls. That dog is gonna haul off and bite the wrong person or those kids and then guess what? Bye bye to the dog and trauma left behind. I am STILL traumatized by that dog's viciousness. I've also been cornered by two giant Rottweilers and charged just the other day by another Rottweiler that was running loose.

Luckily I am now armed with the knowledge of what to do with dangerous dogs - especially when they're coming after my little doggie Phoebe who is only 40 pounds and she LOVES everyone.

But the owners of these damn dangerous animals? Don't get it. If your dog is aggressive, PUT IT ON A LEASH.

SO, moral of the story is that people are dumb. Animals do what they do and live where they do because that's where they BELONG. Only humans screw things up for the rest of the critters. Pumping chemicals into the air and into our oceans.

It's pathetic and nasty.

Climate changes are happening at rates that far exceed any natural cycles that have occurred since people started making records of such things.

For Pete's SAKE! I'm growing apple trees in Alaska and it's April. That ain't natural.

I've got plants growing in the front of my house right now that are almost a foot tall. Chinese poppies that are gorgeous and green. Bizarro.

Meantime, they're getting MORE snow on the East Coast. Luckily by the end of the month they're going to be consistently in the 60s, so they will get spring very quickly.

Non sequiter alert! Bing Bing Bing!

In any case, I'm trying to be more mindful of stuff. Thinking about what I say to people and how I behave and just trying to be nicer than I have been in the past. Not to excuse other people's bad behavior, because that's not proper either. But I will strive to surround myself with other like-minded people, while also making room for others' opinions.

It would be a boring world if we were all the same - that's a truism.

However, it would also be a NICER world if we were all dedicated to being nice to others.

Things I wanna do with the rest of my 2015:

1 - Be nicer
2 - Have fun whenever it's possible
3 - Sing and dance
4 - Work hard but not too much
5 - Get back into yoga
6 - See if I can do something about my arthritis in my hands
7 - Celebrate my 50th birthday with GUSTO!
8 - Continue to eat well and cook good food
9 - Enjoy Alaska's beautiful mountains, sea and animals

10 - Have visitors here from the East Coast and show them this incredible state
11 - Celebrate my friends
12 - Love my little dog
13 - Adopt a friend for her so she's not bored when I'm typing on this dumb computer!
14 - Sleep, rest well, and enjoy my alone time
15 - Take time as often as possible to enjoy the view over the ocean
16 - Enjoy my garden and yard
17 - Relish silence when it's upon me

Jacaronda trees in Seville. Gorgeous.

This is another area of Seville called Triana. This is the Triana River.
Stunningly gorgeous weather, architecture, people and food.
Everyone should go there and just eat! Yumm.
Gazpacho and fresh fish and the bread and the COFFEE!!

For today, the one thing I want to do is wish Jane Gooddall a Happy Birthday! And I also want to thank her for being a mentor from afar. I have read everything I could about her and followed her career from the days she was just dumped in the jungle to her current incredible work. I wanted to be exactly like her and I honestly cannot think of too many other people I looked up to like I did Jane Gooddall. E.O. Wilson was another, Dian Fossey was another and the Cousteau Society and all they showed me as a child in Michigan. Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom? Never missed it. All the Planet Earth shows, Discovery Channel, BBC specials? Never missed them.

I've had a really interesting life so far and I don't intend to get boring any time soon. Can't wait for the next 50 years to reveal themselves.

My car while driving through the Cassiar.

Kayaking with icebergs in Portage Lake last summer.

Resurrection Bay. One of the most beautiful places I've ever seen.

And then there's this:

Ohmygoodness.

Ciao for now! Have a great Wednesday.

Fallacies, Flaws and the Myth of Perfection

Arrrrggghhhh! My beloved six-burner Viking stove!! ACK!
God I loved that thing. I used to hug it! 

Eggplant I grew in my driveway!

My spectacular Montauk daisies. The were very hearty and last to bloom in the autumn. 

Gorgeous fall color on the hydrangea in my driveway.

Jost Van Dyke's White Bay. Heaven on Earth.

With my friend's newborn just before the trip to White Bay.

Quisset Harbor. Another heaven-on-Earth type location.

Quince blossoms. 

Ranunculus.

Tulip from my garden.

Frittilaria from my Salem garden. I have a giant chocolate variety here that is spectacular.

I've been very nostalgic again recently. Upon meeting new friends including my most excellent friends Amy, Amanda, Kari, Mike, Danielle & her beau, Orion, Sean, Jason, Cap, Camilla, Buster, Brian, Marilyn, Kathy, Margaret, Rob, Suzie and Tracye among several other great humans I've met in the last year, I find that I get reflect-y about my past and my old old old most wonderful friends that I've had for 20, 30 and even more than 40 years!

God, I'm old.

Yeesh.

Annnyyway, it's such an interesting thing to sit and think about all the times you've had with people over the course of twenty years. My friend Penny, for instance - we met when I was in a huuuuge transition period of my life. I had just gotten through my first divorce (never would I have dreamed there might be another), I was moving away from Littleton, MA (thank GOODNESS) back to the coast where I belong. In the meantime, though, I had a job for 4 more LONG months in Worcester, MA. So, that's no drop in the bucket commute.

But I did it. During the height of winter, I commuted back and forth from Salem to Worcester. UGH. One dreary snowstorm on a Friday night had me in my car for three hours to get home. I was not pleased.

Often I'd be the only one in the house when I lived with Penny. We had a rotating third roommate each year. It was uncanny. No one could live with Penny and me! We got along famously. She was a rabid recycler and a Yankee through and through. Frugal, generous and practical. And an incredible athlete skier and cyclist. The heat was low in the winter and electric bills were low year round. I adored Penny right away and have never stopped.

She and I have seen each other through so many changes. Dogs passing away, moves out of Salem, moves within Salem! Deaths of people we knew and loved, life changes that we didn't want, life changes we DID want...

All through it, I never stop knowing that if I needed her, she'd do everything in her power to help. Same goes for her. She knows I've got her back whenever she needs it.

There are just some people like that. Hank, Marylou, Jannie, Nina, Elyse, the Lisas!, Bob, Scott, Kristen, Liz, Karen, Erika, Jenna, Jim, Rocky and his whole family, Jackie and Dave, Janet, Melissa, Steve and George, Bob and his whole family, Addie, Pam, Carol Ann, Maryanne, Maryellen, Debbie, Lynn and her family, Kevin and Jill, Joe, and of course, my beloved parents and their respective spouses, my Auntie and Uncle, their kids and fiances, my people in California, Washington, Maryland, Michigan, and the list goes on and on...

I feel so very very fortunate to have not only made these wonderful friends and to have kept them near and dear even though I'm 5000 miles away from everything. Alaska is out there! WAAY out there.

No regrets moving here though. I cry sometimes because I miss everyone and I don't have the money to keep flying everywhere. I have gone through all of the money I'd saved from the sale of my house. It cost me a LOT of money to move here and then to get my new business all set up and getting the garden in tip top condition as my best marketing tool.

I've networked, joined organizations, taken potential clients out for dinners and drinks, donated to charities with money and time and flowers and other tangible goods. I've bought things for the house, I've sold things! You name it, I've been trying everything to get myself established here in Alaska.

And then the sh*t hit the fan. My identity got stolen, rings went missing, a video camera went missing, money started disappearing from my wallet, from my bank accounts, from my credit cards, phone bills started doubling, fake accounts were set up...And this person was living with us under the guise of being a frightened teenager who was a victim of domestic violence.

This caused immense strife for me and my husband. And he had just had surgery, to boot, so we were both exhausted and not on our game. I'd have figured this out very quickly had I not been completely spent from taking care of my poor hurting husband, the house, laundry, two dogs, cooking, cleaning, bills, etc all during the dead of winter when it's dark and sad and dreary.

I'm surprised I could keep it together at all!

In any case, I started hearing from this person's Mother. It was startling what she told me. I will not go into it here. Not worth repeating.

Since that time, I've had to rebuild my credit, my name, my everything - but most notably, my marriage.

These terrible things that happened were because of about 20 factors that all collided during the darkest part of winter in Alaska. It's not a joke having only about 3 hours of daylight. It rips at your psyche and causes a lot of very bad behavior and very strange events.

Luckily I was aware of the weirdness and used my Seasonal Affective Disorder "happy light" during that time. I took a lot of baths, listened to happy music, watched comedies, watched stand-up comics that make me delight, read a lot of good books...Luckily I was given and have learned the tools to make certain I don't fall into that dark hole that took me down so badly a couple years ago.

Luckily I am extremely aware of my boundaries and my flaws.

There is a fallacy about perfection that most people strive to obtain...

Guess what? No such thing. The only thing even close to perfection is unconditional love and the only beings that seem to be capable of that are our furry or feathered family members. Birds, dogs and cats. Other critters also may learn unconditional love, but pretty much I think humans missed that boat a loooong time ago.

Anyone who tells you they love you unconditionally? Is likely just trying to fool you and themselves.

I have now been married three times and have had a lot of boyfriends in between. I cannot name one time I felt unconditional love toward any of them. It seems to be that the hormones and "higher" thought processes (or in some humans' case the lack of any thought processes!) just clouds what we normally desire to do. Most of us desire health, happiness and comfort.

When someone or something threatens those three things, that's when the trouble begins.

There are few critters on the Earth that truly mate for life. Some birds do, French Angelfish do, some termites do, Schistoma worms do (hilarious!).

The list of mammals? Short:

1 - Gibbons.
2 - Prairie Voles.
3 - Wolves.

Humans try but most fail. I know I've failed miserably at marriage! Terribly miserably! I'm the worst!

There is a bit of blame in the fact that I'm an only child. We learn, very quickly, that we are the center of the Universe!

And then we work for the rest of our lives to undo that attitude.  I know I'm terrible at it!

My poor husbands have had to endure the brunt of my selfishness, my ability to blame others for my problems, my verbal assaults when feeling cornered or disrespected, my need for alone time and conversely my need for social time.

I'm a study in contradiction. I'm fully aware of it. I'm a recovering perfectionist. HELP!  (I'm giggling!)

I have an unnatural affinity for animals - kind of all of them. Even spiders and snakes.

And, generally speaking, I'd much rather be in the garden with my plants and flowers or with the little natures outside than most humans. Most adult humans are just bothersome. That's why I enjoy kids so much - they have no agenda really except the desire to play, explore, learn, and share what they've learned.

Kids are great, but most adults ruin them. They wanna categorize their kids or put them in a box so that they're just like all the other kids.

BLECH.

Boring. Horrid. How terrible to do that to a child?!

Luckily my parents recognized my weirdness immediately. I wanted to be an architect, a concert pianist, a detective like Nancy Drew, the next Dorothy Hamill, the next LPGA tour winner, a champion swimmer, an academic, a dancer, the next Jane Gooddall, the next Diane Fossey or the next Jacques Cousteau. Or Doris Day. Or Shirley Temple. Or a rock god (I rocked out on my bass guitar in my Heart cover band!).

And then I decided to focus. I went the science route. Became an expert on Marine Mammals and seabirds. Then focused on shorebirds and plants. Then became an educator on all of those subjects. Then just wanted to garden and play on my boat and take care of my dogs that were old.

Then that all went away. The garden, the house, the husband, the dogs, everything just went away.

I was left with money. And I didn't care about that at all. I cared about all those other things that just slipped away. Then more deaths happened and more was lost.

And I still had all that money. But I didn't want the money, I wanted those people and my dogs and my beloved garden.

I was utterly and completely lost in a fog. There was no wind to get the fog away, just more fog.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now I find myself feeling light again. Unburdened. 

I now have no money to speak of, but I do have a piano, a little dog that adores me, a beautiful home and a garden that I'd die for! I've got friends, a thriving business,  a husband who is a wonderful person - a flawed person who recognizes his flaws and can apologize for them. 

I guess that's all we can hope for, right? 

Just a person who recognizes their own junk and is willing to work 

with you on muddling through the thing.

Boaty and doggies. I miss the guy there, too.

My sweet Sadie. Sweetest, gentlest animal I've ever known.

Ciao for now. Thanks for reading.

Go do the thing! 

xoxo

Spring is Upon Us!

Bleeding hearts. 

Crocus!

Spring fleurs.

Tete-a-tete narcissus and violas.

Grape hyacinth, parsley and clovers!

Here I am in Alaska with clients already asking me to come by to check out their gardens and to start spring cleanups!

This started in MARCH! In a thousand years, I'd never dream that I'd move to Alaska (in the first place) and then I'd be gardening in March? That's just whack.

But, here I am and here is spring and I'm looking at bright blue sky and it just rained for a while. There is no snow - some of the ground is still frozen where it's shady, but otherwise I've got green plants shooting up here and there out in the yard. My bulbs have gone mental - the foliage is incredible, no flowers yet, but it's just so satisfying to see life out there!

The willow trees have bloomed, so I have fresh pussy willows in on of my pots outside. I have to bring them in at night because it's still getting down below freezing, but by mid-day it's been in the 50s. And the bright, hot sun of Alaska is here in full force.

We have SO much sunlight already. The sun is rising at about 7am, setting at 9pm! That's a lot of sunlight and I THRIVE when it's sunny. My mood is elevated and my energy level is off the chart.

By mid-June, at the solstice, we'll have a full 22 hours of sunlight. Truly amazing. And weird!

Yesterday I cooked and gardened all day. Had 7 friends come by and we ate together and laughed and cooked and generally had a wonderful time.

The last person left about 7:30 last night after we took turns playing the piano. It was great - so many talented people around the world.

Languages heard yesterday in my house included Japanese (an 11 year old son of my friend is fluent), Russian, German, French and Spanish. These are world traveler types and so very interesting. Real estate people, a teacher, baker, 4 students, musicians, a non-profit director, and a massage therapist.

And moi. A little bit of everything and nothing in particular. I say I'm a gardener and designer, but in reality I've been thinking a lot about getting back to my research roots. I'm fascinated by the climate issues of the day and how it's affecting the ocean critters. Big shifts are already happening in habitat and migration patterns. Bird species are showing up from Asia and the water in Cook Inlet was not even that cold on Sunday when we were there. I was, of course, stomping around in the water with my boots picking up interesting rocks.

So, I'm sort of at this odd point in my life and career. Knocking on 50 and again asking myself what do I want to be when I grow up?

I've got ideas of getting my law degree to become an advocate. Another idea is to become a conductor for an orchestra. Or get back into piano more. And then I do love cooking, so I think about working in a restaurant as a sous chef. Or then I think I might like to have a small business where I do a five course meal for 6 people at my table on Saturdays and charge a fixed price. And then I think about leading trips again to teach about conservation, marine mammals, fish and birds.

Too many interests, too little time!

And then I remember how much I love gardening and putting plants together to attract birds, butterflies and bees. And making a garden safe for dogs and cats.

Well, I guess you'll have to stay tuned. I know I'm always curious about what the heck will happen on any given day. You never can tell!

Cheers to spring and the sun!

Ciao for now.

The incredible sunset overlooking White Bay
in Jost Van Dyke, British Virgin Islands.

A gorgeous blue tang in the waters off of White Bay.