The Good, The Bad and Then There's Him

So, the ongoing saga that is my life continues. Up one day, down the next. Smooth sailing for a time and then another round of bullshit with Mr. Sunshine.

He's truly one of the most ridiculously, outrageously, amazingly shitty human beings I have ever had the displeasure to know.

The reality of this cretin's existence is something to behold in the worst of ways. It's like a psychology experiment gone terribly wrong. My book about this will be juicy and amazing and will sound totally made up because it's so out there. The truth is, I am super creative but I could not possibly make up the scenarios, the illogic and the lies that this man passes of as truth - even under oath in the court. Lied right to the judge's face.

So now Mr. Sunshine owes me a crap load of money. It was court ordered to be in my possession no later than Friday, November 27th.

Yep.

Of course it didn't get here. He waited until I called and texted and threatened him with police coming to his brand new place of work to drag him off in front of his co-workers. THEN I got a response.

And the shithead didn't even call me by my first name. He addressed me like I was some utter stranger.

????

It's totally puzzling. And contrary to any logic that I can possibly imagine.

The way this man's brain works is COMPLETELY the opposite of any sentient being. I would trust my dog to make WAY better judgements than this person.

When the court explicitly orders you to give money to a person on or before a certain date? That's not up for negotiation.

As my last act of kindness when we were in court I did say to Mr. Sunshine that I would work WITH him if he could not raise the larger of the lump sums he owes me (that was the one due on the 27th).

Apparently he took that to mean that he simply could do whatever the fuck he wanted without even consulting me.

IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY, YOU STUPID SHIT.

ONCE AGAIN, DO WE HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT 

YOU DO NOT GET TO MAKE UNILATERAL DECISIONS?

Really? Do we have to keep going with this stupid bullshit?

Just do what you're supposed to do for ONCE in your pathetic, sad, lonely life.

Just DO THE RIGHT THING for ONCE.

You might even gain some personal satisfaction from actually following through and DOING THE RIGHT THING.

So, in retaliation for his shitty behavior, I have been doing nice things:

Volunteering at the homeless shelter where they feed up to 1000 people per day.

I'm also going swimming at a beautiful indoor pool with my friend who gave me free passes to do so.

Today I created lovely food that I'm giving to friends. 

And I'm going over to surprise decorate her mailbox with a giant bow of silver sparkly ribbon!

I also created two little arrangements that I'm donating to a charity event for their silent auction. That will be a $100 donation or more for them.

So, when someone treats you like shit? I say kindness and living a good life is the best retaliation.

I'm not saying go out and be a doormat. Nope.

Give the kindness to those who are deserving and appreciative. 

Negative creeps like Mr. Sunshine neither deserve nor appreciate kindness. Instead, people like that take and take and take and then take advantage of it.

I am so very grateful that I will never, ever be a person like Mr. Sunshine. He can live in his vortex of negativity, distrust and bad behavior all he wants.

That vortex will never suck me in again. And I've learned the important lesson out of this experience:

Beware the vortex, soul-sucking assholes out there, fellow nice people. Don't let them into your inner circle. Keep them at least at arm's length or preferably, far, far away.

I've married two of them. 

Never again.

So, that's all for today. I'm off to decorate and have some fun swimming!

Ciao for now and thanks for reading.

xoxo

Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa & A New Year

So, Hanukkah started a couple days ago - it officially started at sundown on December 17th.

As a person lucky enough to be bestowed honorary Jew status (I'm not kidding - this is a thing), it was amazing to note that of the many many human beings with whom I interacted yesterday, there was only ONE person (out of easily 50) who knew it was the beginning of Hanukkah! He even knew enough to "Mazel tov" me!

I find that kind of pathetic and a little gross given the fact that you can turn on the radio right now and hear Christmas music 24 hours a day if you so choose. And the fact that all you have to do is look at a calendar and it tells you that Dec. 17 was the beginning of Hanukkah...

It's not that I mind Christmas music, I actually adore it! Takes me back to my youth when we'd attend Christmas Eve services at our local Methodist church. It was so pretty, and we'd get all dressed up and everything was sparkly and the CHOIR and the ORGAN!! OOooooo, I loved it!

The Jews, however, get kinda screwed. No tree, no observance of their particular religion by the masses (unless you live in Swampscott or Marblehead!) and they have to listen to Christian people gush on and on about all of their parties and gifts and the big tree and the stores piping in Christmas music and the red and the green everywhere!

It's not that one is better than the other, that's not what I'm saying. I'd just like a little more awareness of what other people do! And I think KUDOS to the Jewish who put up with our bombardment of Christmas everything and they don't complain one iota! Nope!

I've been in cahoots with a number of Progressive Jewish people that celebrate both! 

We did in my household. I had a pretty tree and the menorah sitting right there next to it. We had Seder dinners and Easter dinners. We had matzoh ball soup and then a turkey! We had a glass full for Elijah and Christmas cookies for Santa. Temple and Church.

Why not? Who does that possibly hurt? Nobody.

I'll bet you that a good number of Christians don't know the fundamental difference between Judaism and Christianity. There really are very very few differences. And the differences are really semantics and interpretation. If you've read the Torah and the Bible (which I have) you easily recognize one in the other.

I've also studied Zen Buddhism, Hinduism, Shamanism, Taoism, Atheism (that one scared me the most) and Agnosticism.

Theoretical Physics, Biology and Philosophy are really my favorite "religions" as science and the desire to be ethical and tread lightly has guided me pretty unfailingly throughout my life.

So yesterday I went around wishing everyone 

"Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or whatever it is you celebrate!"

And it brought a smile to every single person's face! No one can get mad about wishing you a happy whatever-it-is-you-do to make your home fires burn brightly!

So, enough with the bashing of other people's beliefs. That is one of the most amazing things about the United States of America. We have freedom of religion. There are not many other places like that except some of the more developed countries in Scandanavia, Europe and some of the Island nations.

In most of the rest of the world, you are told what to believe, when you can do it, and how much OR you get shot, bombed, raped or pillaged in some other horrible way.
(which, it turns out some of my heritage is German Jew)
Even in India (which, as I've said, I think Indians are some of the loveliest, gentlest humans I've known as I've journeyed around our planet) they have a caste system. If you're born in a low caste, that's where you remain. No hope of advancing your cause. None. There are people that sleep on the side of the road in some parts of India because they literally have NOTHING to their name. Just the clothes on their backs and sometimes even those get stolen or ripped off them.

I'd just really like everyone to be nice to each other and just pay attention to the comfort of others. Even in the grocery store! Don't block the damn aisle! In the street - slow the F*CK down! It's icy and slippery and not everyone wants to go 80 miles per hour in a 40 mile-per-hour zone!! Jeeeez!

You know, I've been flipped off on Northern Lights Boulevard because I was GOING THE SPEED LIMIT??? Baffling.

And people here will speed UP just to slam on their brakes at a red light.

?

Anywho, I'm being very much a Pollyanna and do-gooder and I understand that some of you probably roll your eyes at my naive attitude.

Thing is, I'm not naive at all. I like to always try to see the good in humans whether they're homeless, drug addicts, a stranger that dresses oddly or eats weird food, a foreigner (I've been a foreigner and it's not fun when the natives treat you unkindly like the men in Morocco)...

You really just never know the motivations of others, so stop being a jerk! Just let them have their bad day and move on. Maybe they just lost their puppy dog and he found out his wife is cheating on him and she just found out she has cancer.

Especially in this season of giving, one of the best things you can do? Give someone a break or the benefit of a doubt. It works miracles.

Now, for your viewing pleasure, the video below. This makes me giggle and carry on like a cackling fool! Hope you like it!

Thanks for reading & Merry Ho Ho and Mazel and all that rot.

Another Monday to Amuse or A Muse?

It's officially winter in Alaska! It's dark for 18 hours a day (not really, it's actually quite bright starting at about 8am until about 6pm), it's snowy and icy (I'm liking this part) and the moose are wandering the streets of Anchorage regularly now.

I'm in hibernation mode in a big way. I slept until 10:30am!! Slightly different than a few months ago when I was wide awake at 4 or 5am on a daily basis. Even the DOGS slept until 10:30am. They didn't ask to go out or for food or anything. We all turn into a bunch of bears up here in the Great White North.

Even during this sort of snowy, icy time there is still much to marvel at in Alaska. There are loads of birds frequenting our yard and our neighbor's feeders. We have Mountain Ash, Crabapple, Wild Cherry and giant spruce trees filled with cones - all of which attract a wide array of feathered friends - magpies, Bohemian waxwing, juncos, chickadees, titmouse, pine siskin, huge flocks of redpolls...

I decorated for the season a couple nights ago - put out lights, some select ornaments and pretty, sparkly silver, woven ribbon. I'm doing old school except for the candles - I really don't want to burn the place down! I'm gonna go take a picture. Hold on.

BRIEF INTERMISSION. 

Enjoy these recent pictures while I go outside:

Isn't this the coolest cloud? It looked like an angel.
Sort of an inversion/lenticular cloud with some high moisture.
Interesting clouds abound here in Alaska. 

Along the coast about a mile from our house.

Cute lichens.

Bract fungus on a birch.

A littany of lichens!

Beautiful day in the Chugach State Forest.

Alrighty then. I'm back. I was outside and got the mail and braved the cold snow! It's actually gorgeous outside. The snow here is light and powdery because it's so darn arid. The mountains that surround Anchorage sort of "steal" all the heavy moisture, so it's crispy and the snow is light and lovely. It's a bit icy today - there's an ice storm supposedly coming toward Anchorage, so tomorrow will probably be a day to stay in and avoid driving altogether.

So, here are the pictures of the front of the house and some of the cute ornaments in the lilacs and roses out front:

Someone recently asked if this is where Santa lives! It kind of looks like it, doesn't it?
 Note the half-eaten pumpkins on the corner there. The mooses still have some snacks waiting for them here!

Mailbox with the remaining ribbon. 

Chickadee ornament.

Icicles, ornaments and the bell that my Aunt Sis gave to me when I got married.

Neato wire snowflake ornament.

Happy panda in the snow!

Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving. Thanks for reading today and ciao for now!

Homeless Students in the United States

Well, between the news this morning about what happened in Jerusalem and then the ISIS attacks, I'm feeling pretty grim about now.

It sort of makes my fluff about flowers and cooking seem ridiculous.

I was listening to NPR this morning as I was making breakfast and feeding the puppies. A journalist was asking a question about how the people in this certain country view America, as the United States has not responded to help many people who have been under attack recently.

The man being interviewed said that most of his country, at this point, see Americans as stupid and selfish. Stupid and selfish because they seem ignorant to the plight of other people and the government doesn't seem to care about certain countries unless there's oil or some other natural resource at stake.

The interviewer then went on to ask if there was any sense of a normal life for the other people in his country - and the man said "What is that?" and then sort of laughed a sad laugh...

Then the interviewer asked further, "Do people go to work, do the kids go to school?"

And the man being interviewed explained that, of course, there's still "life" there, and makeshift schools when people are able to leave their homes. But then he also explained that when there's no food to eat and you're going hungry, school is about the last thing on your mind.

So, there I was in my nice, warm kitchen, overflowing with food, feeding the dogs their kibble and reindeer sausage.

My dogs, I realized, eat better than probably millions of people in the world.

There is so much suffering elsewhere. We have the luxury of bitching about phone service or the internet being slow.

Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of suffering right here, too. There was an article I read yesterday about the issues facing the homeless here in the United States. The recent recession and policies by our lawmakers have forced thousands of families out of their homes.

I was really saddened when I went to our local homeless shelter to find out they feed thousands in Anchorage per day.

It's called Bean's Cafe and they do an amazing job. There were lots of families there. Little kids. There were older people, middle-aged, too, but I was shocked and disheartened to see the sheer number of families who are clearly living out of their cars or vans.

The stats are all just shocking and expected to get worse:

Here's a link to a piece by PBS about it.

Here's a recent Huffington Post article about the alarming rise in homeless students throughout our country.

National Coalition for the Homeless is a great organization that offers solid solutions and financial aid to help people find affordable or free shelter so that they can get on the road to feeding and clothing themselves and live in dignity instead of going to jail.

Now, on the ranty side:

How can corporations look the other way while children are suffering on a daily basis? 

How can these people fill their pockets with millions of dollars and their corporations don't pay their fair share of taxes? 

How about bailing out the banks that created these sham loans in the first place? Why do the banks get bailed out while families lose their homes? 

How can our government and law enforcement justify confiscating the meager belongings that many of our homeless people have and then send them to jail or just send them along into the cold?

More than 600,000 people are homeless in the United States on any given night. 

On average, in the winter, about 700 people will die of exposure each year.

Now, that's a lot of deaths. We would be outraged if that many people died in one winter at war or after a hurricane or earthquake...

But, because they're homeless, they don't matter. Societal discards.

Most people, I think, have a vision of homeless people as older, 

disheveled people who are dirty and many of whom are drunk. 

The truth is that it's entire families and mostly people suffering from untreated mental illness.

Well, this Thanksgiving and Christmas and Hanukkah, you might think about one less gift for each of your family members and instead contact your local homeless shelter, women's shelter, fire station or Department of Social Services office to see what you can do to help. A $20 gift to a homeless child or a $20 food donation can make a huge difference.

Peace out. Thanks for reading.

A Message to Adults...BE KIND to yourselves!

That video kind of says it all.

For quite some time I've lived with other women. As a housemate/roommate for five years and then another stint recently for a little over a year.

Women are SO hard on themselves. And it turns out that nearly as many men secretly also sort of despise their bodies. Body dysmorphic disorder is alive and well. Or rather alive and UNwell. I  suffered from it almost my entire life.

Here's a wonderful essay about body dysmorphic disorder if you don't know about it.

I remember even being a child and feeling so huge and fat next to my skinny friend, Karen. I always felt like a moose around her. By 5th grade I was the tallest kid in my class, felt enormous, had boobs and had started my period before any of the other girls. I hid my body as best I could and stayed home when my period would arrive each month.

This feeling of shame about my body continued on into my teens and then into college when I finally became a full on anorexic person. I carefully measured what I ate and I exercised like a fiend. So much so that I developed severe plantar fasciitis in both feet. So bad in my right foot that I have permanent scar tissue. Both of my knees were nearly blown out, as well.

All because I felt fat and hated my beautiful, strong body. My genetics are such that I tend toward being athletically inclined - I have fairly big bones and lots of muscle mass. In my teen years and early 20s I saw this as a flaw. I was unable to be one of those waify, skinny, long-legged women that were in the magazines and also some were my friends. Many of my friends were gazelle-like, skinny and also athletic.

When I get athletic? My muscles respond by getting BIGGER. So, my bike racing and running actually made my thighs bigger. However, I weighed only 113 pounds. On my frame? That's bone thin. I see pictures of me back then and I cannot believe I looked that way - collar bones and ribs showing. My face was gaunt. I remember being constantly hungry.

I am 5 foot 6 and I currently weigh about 160 pounds.

I look good, I feel good, I rarely get sick. I'm fit as a fiddle, have strong, happy muscles (except for the groin pull!) and am very active. Hiking, gardening, kayaking, biking, walking everywhere...So, here I am about 50 pounds heavier, 25 years older and I FINALLY like how I look. Jeez. Took long enough.

I do my utmost to cease comparing my body to others' bodies. Most of the 20-somethings I know are unsatisfied with their bodies. They are "on diets" or go to great lengths to work out at a gym even though they're more active than 90% of the humans on the planet!

My point is that when we turn the tables on ourselves, it actually makes everything better. Instead of me resenting my muscular thighs and big, strong bones, I now celebrate them! I'm so lucky that I will likely not suffer from osteoporosis and that my muscles burn more calories than someone who is skinny but has less muscle mass!

Muscle weighs more than fat. It's a fact, Jack! SO, yeah! I weigh a lot compared to many other 5 foot 6 inch ladies. However, I can eat a lot more and still maintain my weight and shapeliness because of those big muscles of mine. What a gift!

When I became thankful for my strong, healthy (mostly) body, I began to feel different from the inside out. I ate better food to fuel my body, got healthier because of it, became more active because my energy got better...

It doesn't always have to be a "vicious" circle. Sometimes the circle can be kind and self-fulfilling in a good way.

My therapist beat it into my head that it's truly important to be kind to yourself. Be forgiving. If you don't treat yourself well, how on EARTH do you expect others to treat you well? And her main point was:

We surround ourselves with people who treat us the way we feel we deserve to be treated. 

If you are constantly beating yourself up, telling yourself that you're fat and whatever other negative bullshit - well, that's what you're gonna attract. People who don't value you and appreciate the fine qualities that you possess.

So please! Please stop being so harsh on yourselves, people! It doesn't serve any purpose except to keep you down and make you feel shitty.

Ok. I'm done.

Please send good ju-ju our way. My husband is going in for surgery early early tomorrow morning to repair a torn ACL and torn biceps. Gonna be a long day.

Thanks for reading and ciao for now.

I love this!

The FlowerSmith Website

My hydrangeas on the side of the Derby Street house. Yummy.

Angelonia in a pot by the back door.

Eggplant blossom!
I grew these in raised beds in our parking area...
They did very well. Small, sweet eggplants.

Gorgeous butterfly enjoying the nectar on one of the
oversized butterfly bushes in the backyard.

I don't know why this has taken me so long!


Ridiculous!

Anyway, my website is almost done. More photos to load and some tweaking to do here and there, but it's basically allllmost done!

Let me know what you think!

Click here: The FlowerSmith

Fall pretties with bunny tail grass, sweet potato vine, chili peppers and kale.

Purple asters provide a bit of bright color to this arrangement.

Grasses, pumpkins, kale...

Winter doesn't have to be bleak!

A festive wreath, garland and planter for the holidays!

Throwback Thursday and Other Musings

Happy almost Halloween!

So, I hung several strings of lights outside to be all festive and fun-like? It's so damn cold here all but one of the strings of lights stopped working. Now THAT's cold! I'm gonna see if I can fix at least one of the strings today - but one by one they just pooped out on me. I guess 18 degrees doesn't cut it for punkin lights.

At Russell Orchard on my recent trip to MA!

My husband, Mr. Big and Tall
on his first trip to Russell Orchard.

Annnyywhooo, I recently went to Massachusetts, as you may be aware, and one of the best best best things you can possibly do when in MA in October is go to Russell Orchard (I know it as Gooddale Orchards). I've been going to this place for almost 30 years, so it holds a lot of wonderful, keen memories of the past.

I went there with my first husband, K. We were babies, of course back then. I was all of 23 the first time I met Ken and he was engaged to another person. He broke it off with her (which, I'm so sorry I caused you such pain, N) and then K and I started our torrid fling. It didn't take long for us to get engaged and then get married. We got married right before my 25th birthday. May 12th at the Annisquam Village Church in Gloucester, MA. We lived in a miniscule apartment in Rockport and then in an equally tiny apartment in downtown Gloucester.

Things fell apart quickly as my whale research career took off and K was a fisherman and was gone for long periods of time. We had no business getting married so young, but it seemed like a good idea at the time!

So, we officially divorced when I was 29.

I then hooked up with a boy, E, for 4 years. I adored E and still do to this day. But he was totally immature and cheated on me a bunch. That was a really painful breakup. Especially since I was LIVING in the same house with him and his wonderful Momma at the time. I moved out when he was on vacation. Best thing I ever did.

That's when I came to live in Salem, MA. It was the winter of 1995. I answered a classified ad in the paper for a roommate situation in a cute Victorian house on Carlton Street in Salem. I went for the interview - with the two other women tenants and the landlords. All were great (except the one tenant woman who had a penchant for skulls and vaginas (not even kidding)). And the other tenant woman is one of my best friends to this day! She and I were a constant in that house for 5 years and then we had the revolving roommate on the first floor.

There was skull/vagina lady, then came the vodka/Yankees woman, and then the girl who had "woman problems" and cooked Chinese herbs on the stove that made the whole house smell of death, dirt and poop. IT WAS DISGUSTING! Then there was the recluse who went on blind dates ALL THE TIME in unsafe places and sometimes late at night. My other roommate and I were petrified that she was going to end up being a statistic.

And then I met my second husband. OOOO, did I have it BAD for him! He teased me and made me laugh and his dog and my dog fell instantly in love! There were a bunch of dogs at the park in Salem Common but his dog, Koty and my dog, Lady were instantly besties! Just look at these two:

In our old kitchen. It was a restaurant before we moved in
so there was a big drain right under that rug! We had
3 pizza ovens that were my "cupboards" and stainless
tables and racks to store food and to cook! It was a
novelty for many years until we could afford to
make it an actual kitchen kitchen!

Koty helping us with the bait on the boat! The dogs loved boat rides.

Best friends until the very end.

This was the day Lady died.
I did this when we took Koty on his first solo walk after she died.
December 7th, 2007. She was one week away from her 14th birthday.
I have her ashes here with me now.

So, we lived an interesting a lovely life the four of us. We bought our big, beautiful house on Derby Street in Salem, made wonderful friends, bought an amazing boat that we used pretty much daily from early spring through October. We walked the dogs, my husband became wildly successful in his work, I started my own business doing flowers and small gardens for people...My husband's family was (and still is) the family I'd been missing since I moved so far from my own. They were kind, smart, fun, funny and loving people that welcomed me with open arms. It was a full-on love affair and I loved being married to him.

As Lady and Koty aged and then she died, things went sort of awry. Everything was off. Koty was miserable, my husband and I were devastated after losing Lady. We sort of started the long journey of growing apart. We still were best friends and had wonderful times, but he stopped being attracted to me and that was really really hard.

So, after three months of watching Koty mope around and be sad, we decided he needed a new friend to cheer him up. And we were TOTALLY right. We found this pathetic creature on Petfinder.com named Lady, which was weird enough - but she looked like Koty's sister! Look at these two! (We renamed her Sadie because it was too weird to call her Lady...)

Koty's new friend, Sadie. The world's OLDEST most pathetic creature.

 Sadie and Koty were not friends at the start. He was threatened (of course) by a new dog's presence in his domain. But we worked on making him feel secure in his status, and he quickly warmed up to Sadie. Sadie came from a pet hoarder in Tennessee. This person had 50 dogs in their house. All in varying states of disarray. Sadie had zero muscle tone and no incisors - she had learned to chew through cans to get into food (found that out the hard way). She didn't poop sometimes for days on end - we had to praise her for a basic bodily function...She learned over time that food was always gonna be there and that barking was okay (she never had barked in her whole life) and that pooping was good to do every day, too!

She had arthritis all through her spine and back legs and was certainly not 6 years old as I had been told! The vet and I think she was probably closer to 10 when we adopted her. She had an emergency splenectomy after a tumor burst in her spleen. So, that was fun. Then Koty got attacked by a fucking out of control American bulldog. The dog ripped his throat out (not exaggerating - I will not show the pictures - it's disgusting). Koty had to go through two extensive surgeries (over 250 stitches) to put him back together.

Then Koty got very sick about a year later with an inexplicable liver infection. We tried everything to get him well, but he had lost his fight. Koty died in September of 2011. He was almost 14.

By this time, Sadie had gotten ancient and had dementia really badly. She had depended on Koty for all of her cues. After he died, she screamed and cried most nights because she didn't know where she was and what was going on. I even slept on the couch in the living room so she could find me, but she still cried all the time. So we had to let her go just 2 weeks after Koty died.

I'm crying right now thinking about that terrible time. I knew that my husband and I were splitting - we had decided to stay together for the dogs' sake.

After Koty and Sadie died, we had to face harsh reality. We went through the motions, had our one last big Halloween bash - and we knew our marriage was over, but none of our party-goers knew except for two of our friends, Tom and Christine. It was a weird secret to carry around, but we didn't want to ruin our one big, last farewell party. It was farewell to everything that had been familiar for 13 years. Not a drop in the bucket.

I still miss my old house and my ex-husband and my beautiful dogs and my life back then. I felt like the luckiest soul on the planet for all of my blessings.

When it was all gone, I just didn't know how I could possibly carry on and start all over again. I was so beaten down by life and loss and both my Grandmas dying and my beloved Grandpa, then my beautiful friends Marilyn and Marcel...I just couldn't take one more shitty thing happening.

And then came N & K...These two ladies basically nursed me back to health. They made sure I was eating (I dropped like 25 pounds from not eating). They made sure I was getting out of bed (sometimes I'd lie and say I was up and N would inevitably call me back and call me out on my lies!!). They listened to me cry and grieve and they saved me from doing something terrible.

My family and a few choice friends were always there for me, too. I'm utterly SO very thankful for such wonderful souls in my life.

The chickens remembered me!! I had been there about 2 years ago and also have done some projects with the folks at Maitland Mountain Farm who keep the chickens running free in the summer at their farm in Salem! I had met "the girls" on several occasions as they were running about the property as we were in the greenhouses or picking flowers or hanging out on their big porch! The chickens are a hoot!
Each has her own personality and they love being talked to. So, the girls and I talked for a while when I was at Russell Orchard. This is where they stay for the winter in a big, comfy, warm coop.

Which brings me to the present. I met my husband while I was on an extended "vacation" in South Carolina. He contacted me on March 12th (which, incidentally, is the day that my second husband and I got engaged (and it's also his uncle's birthday!)). We never stopped talking from that day on. May 1st he came to visit me in South Carolina. We got engaged then and I decided to move to Alaska. By June 16th I was living here. Married again on July 5th. HOLY MOLY. What a life!

In the foothills of the Chugach Mountains last Sunday.

Thanks for reading! Have a safe and Happy Halloween!  

A Few Gems from Hank. My GOODness I love his sense of humor!

A man walked into a bar. He told the bartender that he didn't have any money, but he would show the bartender something amazing in exchange for a drink. It was a slow day, so the bartender agreed.

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a frog, a hamster and a tiny piano. The frog started playing a fantastic jazz solo. Then the hamster started singing along in an amazing duet. Impressed, the bartender gave the man a drink.

Just then another bar patron rushed up to the man and offered him $1,000 for the singing hamster. The man instantly agreed to the deal.

The patron paid the man and quickly left with the hamster. After the patron left, the bartender couldn't keep quiet anymore and exclaimed, "I can't believe you sold a singing hamster for only $1,000!"

The man shrugged and said, " the frog is a ventriloquist."

The Pleasures of Reading...

I love to read. When I have nothing to do I pick up a book and read. Sometimes I read for fun. Other times I read to learn something. I really enjoy reading.

Sometimes I become unhappy while reading. I will be enjoying a fine story when all of a sudden a big word will stare back at me. Now I know a few big words but, after all, isn't it true that in simplicity there is beauty?

Take the other day. While reading a particularly engrossing story I ran across the word "scree."  I later found out that the word "scree" meant "pebbles and rocks." Why didn't the author just say "pebbles and rocks?"

Another thing. People just can't say anything the simple way any more. Yesterday I read about a guy "adroitly manipulating the shifting mechanism!" So he threw the car into second gear.

Now if I were a writer, I would try to avoid confusing my readers. We all feel that confused and pompous prose has no place in contemporary society. It does no good to engulf you readers in a sea of indistinguishable trivia.

I feel quite strongly about this. I feel that perpetual adherence to enigmatic expression stultifies intellectual response. Furthermore, excess circumlocution inevitably leads to incomprehensible mayhem.

When authors engage their literary crampons into my lethargic intellect, I feel like poking my pate into a catatonic mound of fronds and lianas. I would rather ascend icy scarps or embroil my ego into a capacious sea of undulating hummocks than perambulate through a plethora of insatiable verbiage.

It all leaves me flaccid as a sprag.

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads "Talking Dog for Sale." Intrigued, he walks in.

"So what have you done with your life?" he asks the dog. "I've led a very full life," says the dog. "I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home."

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog's owner, "Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?"

The owner says, "Because he's a liar! He never did any of that!"

The Day Before

It's a busy day for most people, I think.

We are hosting 12 people for Thanksgiving and have much food to make in the next 28 hours. Pumpkin pies, turkey, homemade stuffing, mashed potatoes, roasted vegetables, sweet potatos, and rolls. In addition to the food, our dog is getting his acupuncture treatment today, and I'd like to sneak in a power walk before that.

In any case, last night, I decided I'd do up a centerpiece for our holiday table so I wouldn't have to do it today.

Here it is in all its glory!



Have a great holiday!