Troubles But Not Really At All

Koty and our morning howl before our first walk of the day!
Aarrrooooooooooo! (He's border and Bernese Mountain dog.)
At his height of fitness he swam twice per day about a half mile each time
and he ran and exercised for about 2 hours per day,
not to mention ridding my yard of scumbag squirrels!
He was very independent and liked to do certain things. Retrive a ball? Why would I ever do that?
You're just gonna throw it again! Don't waste Koty's time!!
You wanna pet me? Nope. Not in the mood.
If he wanted to be pet, he'd sit on my foot. He adored me.
My poor husband was heartbroken! Traitor!
I cry over Koty to this day. He died just a few days before turning 14.
A good, long life for an 80 pound powerhouse.

My sweet Sadie. Great Pyr, border and 1 brain cell.
Such a loyal and SOFT sweet pea. 70 pounds of sweetness.
I adopted her when she was 10.

My Lady. Biggest, toughest, sweetest pain in the butt of a dog!
I adopted her when she was six, so she was pretty set in her ways!
Strong as 10 oxes and fast as the wind. She could outrun young Koty
even though she was very advanced in age.
She was border, German Shep and part Pygmy goat?
Not sure! Just my 80 pound lovebug who held on for 14 years despite evil cancer.

So, as I've said to myself about a zillion times in the last three years, life is a roller coaster of emotions and times.

I've had a giant roller coaster ride from being suicidal a few years ago to now being pretty okay with my life most days. I've got a good life going and ain't nobody gonna take that away from me now. I've done my HARD therapy work after two years of group therapy (every single week for two years) and then I did a very intensive year-long set of sessions with an incredible woman from Marblehead.

What I learned in those many thousands of hours of talking and thinking and reflection are these things below:

1 - Tell the truth. Sometime people will get hurt, sometimes they will come around and understand WHY you told the truth, sometimes they will not. That's their choice.

2 - Make the choice to be the best you can be each day. Or not. That's your choice. Not up to me.

3 - You cannot make someone change. You can initiate change in yourself, but it takes work to make a real change and to stick with it. Again, it's about making a choice each day.

4 - When you "cheat" you really only hurt yourself. Cheating is weak and bad and just a cop out. Anyone can cheat, not everyone can live truthfully and faithfully.

5 - Don't try to lie and then deny when you get caught. The least you can do is accept the fact that you lied.

6 - There's no such thing as "I just didn't tell you the WHOLE truth." That's utterly bullshit and it's just another lie you're telling yourself. Anyone with a brain can see that you're just covering your tracks.

7 - Own up to the fact that you have made mistakes. Just own it, for F*CK's sake. Own it. Don't try to cover up your shitty behaviour with yet ANOTHER "mistruth" or whatever you want to call your lies.

8 - Everyone has baggage. It's just how you choose to carry it. Some people get upset when I talk about the fact that I made mistakes, that I cheated on someone in my waaay past, that I needed help because I was depressed. They're just my life. I can talk about it if I want to.

9 - There's no shame in being depressed or mentally ill or bipolar or having to grieve a loss. Crying is GOOD for you. It releases those stress hormones. It's necessary sometimes to cry or to ask for help from a doctor or therapist. No one thinks anything less of you when you go to physical therapy after surgery. Your brain is simply another organ that needs some fine-tuning from time to time.

10 - Think about what you say to people. Words hurt. They have power. Use your vocabulary and don't just ASSUME you know what I'm thinking or feeling. ASK A G*DDAMN question. Ask.

11 - Be nice to those that you say you love. Don't yell at me. Don't be stern and withholding. Don't ignore me and walk away when I'm hurting.

12 - Don't marry someone for the wrong reason. Marry a person for their devotion and continued happiness. I married someone because I wanted to make him happy, not because I "thought that's what he wanted." What a terrible thing to say.

13 - My vows are sacred and not to be taken lightly. Same with my friendship. If I say I'm going to be there for you, I will. Period.

14 - Have some FUN! Dance! Sing! Eat a dessert. Spend some money on others. Make people happy. Stop brooding and focusing on the negative. Jeez.

15 - Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Comfort them and then ask what you can do to help make it better. Don't assume you know what they're feeling or thinking. Just be nice and listen.

16 - Listen. Put YOUR agenda down. Stop thinking about your next response and listen to them. You just might learn something.

17 - There's a difference between conversation and inquisition.

18 - Don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about when it's actually YOU who doesn't know what you're talking about. Sometimes you talk to a person and find out they're an expert in their field or they're an astronaut or a rocket scientist or a custodian or a car mechanic or whatever it is that turns them on. Science turns me on. So don't assume I'm NOT a scientist because I look like I do.

19 - Cool humans come in all packaging, colors, sizes and genders.

20 - Take the time to read, learn and do something unusual each day. It's the way to be an ever-expanding force just like our universes and planets and stars.

21 - There is another dimension you don't know about, so don't pooh pooh someone's beliefs. They are not to be discounted and FAITH is huge. It's huge. So don't tell me I don't know what I believe or not. That's for me to know and you to hopefully find out.

Yep.

Those are the things I learned. Plus about 800 billion other big and little gems.

Ciao for now and good luck Iditarod athletes and mushers! Godspeed!

Lady did NOT like those dang fish that we'd haul in!
(We threw back almost everything!)
This was my boaty, The Altair. She's still around in Chelsea, MA.

Koty and Sadie during a quiet moment. She doted on him when she got dementia.
He was wonderful to her. Let her eat his food, he was her cue for how to be a dog.
She died 10 days after he did. She didn't know what to do without him.
She passed away in my arms. My sweet dogs. I miss you.