Saturday, December 5, 2015

Post Divorce Fallout

It's a weird thing when you get a divorce. Now, mind you, I was married to a liar and a cheat, so I'm not heartbroken for a minute. The thing that sucks is that I don't get to have my little Beebles as my constant companion, and the fallout in the way that certain people react to a person who is single again.

A person I hold near and dear to me here in Alaska basically just shut me off from hanging out with her. I decorated her place last weekend at HER invitation. I didn't go over there. I respect their family and how they operate.

She is not married to the man she is living with. She USED to be married to him. They have a son. I really like these people. And I love their dogs and being treated like I was part of the family. She said so on many occasions. I cannot say how much I appreciated her support and encouragement during this past year of hell on wheels.

Well, all of a sudden there are no phone calls, no text, no drop ins... She used to come over here at least once or twice a week and we'd also meet for lunches or a glass of wine or whatever.

When a person you're close to suddenly just stops communicating with you, it's obvious something is amiss.

Then today when I texted her again to ask what on EARTH I have done wrong to be shut out completely so suddenly.

I received a terse and less than kind text that told me that she needed a break. That she wanted privacy and time with her family. She needed a break.

Wow.

Now, I also am not dumb and know that this happened exactly coinciding with the return of a certain bartender who has a gossip problem. He doesn't like the fact that this woman and I don't put up with his shit and we defend each other.

Well, this bartender had asked me some "innocent" questions about her upon his return from his two week vacation. I responded with the answers I knew regarding her holiday plans.

I didn't realize he was going to use those answers I gave as a means of insinuating that women are all basically gold diggers. He insinuated the same to me and I told him off. For some reason, he gets his jollies by making his customers not like each other.

As my friend Kathy says, "He likes to stir the pot." And he really does a good job of milking information out of people by asking "innocent" questions, and then he spins it to make it sound like I or whomever was saying something bad or mean about my friend.

It's bullshit and it's childish and I'm not going to spend my time or money over there now. I even gave him a small gift for him and his wife for Christmas. Really makes me mad that he wants to cause trouble for me. I don't get the motivations, but I do know that I'm not going over there when he's working.

This is the third time he's made things difficult for me or made me upset.

So, as in baseball, three strikes and you're out. OUT.

No more playing in my sandbox.

Strong women of the world unite! Nice people of the world unite!

No more accepting bad behavior from mean-spirited, petty people.

They can just start messing with each other and be un-nice to each other.

There are many sayings about the quality of a person being measured by the subjects they choose to discuss. Petty people talk about other people, quality people talk about ideas or events.

I'm not going to apologize for anything I've said about my friend. I was only saying answers to questions and I didn't say anything bad or mean about her. I don't know what else to do except vent here.

So, the ups and downs after the divorce continue. I'm up at work and now down about my friend.

Ugh.

Can we all just act like adults for a minute and just behave nicely?

That's all for now. I've gotta go write a SECTION of the newspaper that I was tasked with writing last week! Thank goodness for you, Anchorage Press!




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