Bummy feeling again

This is a picture I took back in the day. This is a humpback named Tulip.
Here's she's feeding at the pleats on the lower jaw are pink, flushed from being "hot"
during this active feeding session. I love this picture.

So, as most of you know, it didn't work out with the current housemate. I have not spoken to her or seen her since she got home on Monday evening.

It's a bummer situation because I don't even WANT to see her. I'm upset and really disappointed in her behavior toward my house guests and it's just such a bummer.

The people who've inquired about the apartment? Have not followed up when I returned their emails, so that's bumming me out, too.

I seriously cannot afford to have this place by myself and I'm not going to even know what I'm getting from the settlement conference (divorce proceeding) until early November...

To make matters just a wee bit worse, the move cost me about $200 more than I had thought (they failed to mention that travel to and from their main office was included in the hourly cost of the move) AND they automatically deducted the total cost of the move out of my bank account. It was my understanding that they were going to BILL me for the move, but it was taken out of my account, so I've got about $600 less than I had planned to have at the end of this month.

Will this fun ever end?

Plus, some of you know I was injured REALLY badly last Friday when I was holding onto a Cessna for a friend (only in Alaska) while he jump started the plane. Well, the passenger inside the plane (my friend Kathy) gunned the engine when Alan got the plane jump-started, and of course, the rope I had wrapped around my hand squeezed my hand so hard that there was a giant blood blister half the size of my hand that immediately formed on the top of my hand. The GIANT bruise still extends from my wrist all the way across to the knuckles of my middle, ring and pinky fingers (my right hand).

I'm totally lucky I didn't break my hand. So I iced it and iced it, but then also missed out on some gardening work that whole weekend. Luckily it healed up enough so I could do some more work on Wednesday (in the cold rain! FUN!).

Have to go do some copying at the courthouse today (again, will the fun EVER end?), and then gardening at my client's house - have to do some mulching and finish up with pruning and weeding. Also have some gardening to do here at the house (nothing too big) and early to bed.

My friends who are here visiting from MA are currently in Homer, Alaska. One of the most beautiful places I've ever been... They will return tomorrow afternoon sometime and then they take the red-eye back to Boston tomorrow evening.

This is the beach in Homer. Bald eagles everywhere. And mountains, volcanoes
and the ocean. They are the Katchemak Mountains.

I've been utterly and completely exhausted lately. Everything has caught up to me. The emotions, the physical drain, financial drain. It's incredible how much this has all cost me in all of those departments. And then having to deal with a housemate that is as entitled and icky as the person I'm divorcing? Just really was unnecessary. I'm tired of bad behavior and WHY it's seeking me out.

However, I DO want share my gratitude for my wonderful family and friends from back home. I cannot say thank you enough for the support you've given me during this difficult period. Your messages, phone calls, emails, texts... It's all greatly greatly appreciated and I feel very lucky to have such a great number of people who care about me. I see a lot of people in Alaska who are in terrible situations because they don't have a support system of wonderful humans that love them.

I am really lucky. And I'm truly thankful for all of you and you know who you are!!   : )

Well, I should get a move on. It's already almost 10:00am here. We finally have some sun - so I'm going to take a short walk to Lake Hood and watch some of the planes take off. I don't know why, but it always makes me feel better to see people off to an adventure.

Ciao for now. Thanks for reading.

xoxox

I miss Boaty. This was during a trip to Martha's Vineyard.
We were docked right next to a retired Nantucket Lightship!
And the Obamas were there during this trip, too.

And Now Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Program...

In the Chugach State Park in the Campbell Tract. 

Crystals that form when the snow evaporates and then refreezes. 

October in New England at my favorite Orchard and farm.
My friends, the chickens. Hilarious girls!

I have no idea what the hell is going on in the world right now.

Planets must be aligning or something as nearly everyone I know has major turmoil going on.

Family members in and out of the ICU, losing jobs, people behaving badly.

Really just loads of strife.

Surely has been a ration of absolutely crazy grossness happening all around these parts.

I, for one? Am tired of it. I'm ready for some smooth sailing again.

As many of you know, I went through a VERY rough patch in life about three years ago. Took me a LONG time, lots of money and lots of therapy sessions to get my head back on even close to straight.

Luckily, despite all of the crap that has been happening in the recent months, I'm totally fine. I might shed some tears and I might get angst-y at times, but for the most part? I'm really quite okay.

Big revelation to know that whatever is thrown at you, pretty much? Meh. Whatever. It can be dealt with. Just take it one thing at a time.

Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT having much fun with all the monetary turmoil and lack of income and waiting on the IRS to issue me my refund (yeesh) - however, as a wise friend once told me:

"If you can throw money at a problem to make it go away? You're in really good shape!"

And that's the truth. Money can be made. It can be gotten. Real problems and REAL sadness happens upon the death or illness of a loved one. Or when your loved one doesn't love you anymore.

THOSE are real issues.

Jobs come and go, friends sometimes come and go, houses come and go, money, cars, material stuff - all comes and goes.

What really matters?

Like we've all heard when someone is on their deathbed, they do not regret that they didn't spend more time in the office or at their job. They regret that they didn't take part in the every day joy of being with a loved one or friend. Spending time with the dog playing fetch. Playing baseball with their kids. Going for a midnight swim with their spouse.

Those moments that you look back upon and remember fondly? They certainly don't involve a stack of paperwork at your job.

So, as I'm going through the crap of daily life, I really really really do make the effort to take the time to smell the roses. And marvel at the little butterfly that landed on my Chinese poppies on Saturday. And take in lovely lavender color of the crocuses in my neighbor's yard.

The birds that are nesting in my yard bring me so much happiness! I know most people think I'm whacko because most days I take an hour or two just to go birdwatching and keeping track of the progress of the plants as spring warms us up.

I was just outside putting a letter in my mailbox, red flag up for the postman. (Who is delightful, by the way and also a transplant from MA!)

There are about a million little sprouts of lichens in the yard, wild snapdragons, Jacob's ladder, LOADs of life! Green sprouts of grass, red peony leaves and my beautiful bleeding hearts are bursting forth.

There's also a weird mystery plant that has found its way right next to the front door. Can't wait to see what the heck it turns into! It may be a cyclamen that seeded itself - I grow them inside in the upstairs bathroom and when the blooms or leaves are spent, I throw them out the window to adorn the walkway (even spent flowers are pretty to me).

Annnyway, I read a big article about the protests in Baltimore and all that's happening there.

Gives a person some perspective. I'm not gonna worry about a lost job or a few hundred dollars that someone stole from me. How lucky that I had the money to steal to begin with, right?

So, straighten up, fellow humans. Let's do this thing together. Let's help each other out. We are, after all, floating around a huge star on a planet that is mostly water and getting waterier every day.

I suggest we all learn to swim. Reeeaaaalllly well!

Yikes.

Take care of yourself and go forth and be nice to a stranger today. Make someone's day brighter.

Ciao for now and thank you for reading.

xoxo