Long time, no post!

Christmas pretty.

So much has happened since my last posting. It's been 5 months and that's like 50 years in Alaska time.

Let's see. Where to begin?

Two different lawsuits regarding two very different matters. Both are resolved, thankfully.

My old housemate fell off the proverbial wagon. He not only fell off, he jumped off with a resounding CRASH and BURN and the drama of that whole situation at the end of July/beginning of August just about did me in emotionally.

He moved out (THANK GOD ALMIGHTY) and left me to pay the rent on my own for August and September.

Then I had to move out. Another move. Three moves in a little more than two years.

UGH.

Talk about emotional and physical drain. I'm STILL recuperating from all the changes I've endured.

Between the high cost of living here, paying movers, trying to work as much as possible and find a meaningful full-time gig, two lawsuits and just trying to be a person, I'm DRAINED.

Financially and in every other way.

Now, it's the holidays, of course. We're all supposed to be cozy and comfy and surrounded by family and the perfect tree and 2.5 children and ho, ho, ho.

I'm trying. I really am. I am making special Christmas cards that make me giggle, but I find that certainly the lack of sun and the location of my new housing situation (I live with a most wonderful family that has been utterly beyond generous and kind to me during this very odd time in my life) - I'm getting the winter doldrums more than I have in years.

I turn on that S.A.D. light and listen to happy music and focus on all of the things I'm grateful for, but - you know? Sometimes? It just gets to me.

When I think of "home," I think of my house on Derby Street. And my puppy dogs that I miss all the time. I miss boaty and that feeling of security that I felt there for so long.

This was the view from my driveway.

My beloved stove.

Lady and Koty and the ex on our beloved boaty.

Fun at Halloween.

My Sadie girl.

I miss my little Phoebe.

When I think back on the holidays I also remember my Aunt Bob and Uncle Sis and how we'd all look forward to seeing Bobby when he could make it back from Colorado. We'd all be together at their house and have that jello with the cream cheese in it (blech) and we'd eat and the adults would drink Asti Spumante and my Mom ALWAYS gave Grandpa Vern a bottle of Akadama plum wine. We'd play "Dit-dot-doe" - which is what my Mom called the game "Sorry" - or "One Card."

I'm not sure if life was simpler 35 years ago or if I've just gotten wiser to how hard life can be. It's really tough being alone at 50+. In a million years I'd never have envisioned being single and having to make a go of it all by myself.

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The last two years have been such times of uncertainty for me. And I know I'm not alone in that. The economy and job scene are not easy for a lot of us.

And I CERTAINLY know I've got it so much better than hundreds of thousands of people in the United States, and WAAAAY better than millions that live elsewhere.

There's that guilt that comes sometimes when I'm worried about my damn bills and how I'm gonna make ends meet THIS month - and then I look around me at this warm house, a fridge overflowing with food, my car that is now operable thanks to the kindness of family and friends who've helped me, a closet full of clothes, and on and on the list goes.

So many of us get caught up in the worrying that we forget to live today. We don't have the 1st of January yet. My bills will be due, but I'll find a way to pay them. I'm trying to remain positive and keep hope that something really good is around the corner.

I hope this post doesn't sound too Debbie Downer for all of you who are enjoying the holiday season. I generally ADORE the holidays and the sparkle lights and the songs and the camaraderie that abound this time of the year. I'm just having a time of it over here ... missing all that is familiar. My family, my friends and my old life. I was so very settled in Salem up until my dogs decided to die and then my divorce and having to sell my beloved home.

I'm not asking for anyone to feel sorry for me. I guess my point today is that sometimes the holidays are exceptionally hard for some people for a million different reasons.

Change is in the air. I'm just hoping that 2017 will bring positive change for all.

The Art of Kissing but NOT Telling

It's been an interesting time of it being newly single (AGAIN) and in the land of manly men who do manly things. Even the wimpy men here have a certain sex appeal since they are all out and about doing interesting things like fishing, camping, hiking and such.

The statistic is that there are eight men to every one woman. Basically it's like being a kid in a candy store if, well, you're interested in men!

I happen to be one of those ladies that likes the men folk. I like 'em in all colors, shapes and sizes. If you're nice to me and respect my boundaries and limits and my WORK (i.e. don't call me at midnight or 4:00 a.m. because you're feeling randy or lonely), then I will entertain the idea of kissing your face.

However, I've come across some pretty amazingly unkind behavior and just basically some REALLY bad manners.

What is this obSESSION you all have with discussing politics in public places? Can't I just have a beer and watch Monday Night Football without being bombarded by the woes of the world and the virtues of FUCKING DONALD TRUMP? What the hell? Please please shut your cake hole and please can we just discuss the football game and bad play calls? Or something? Please?

So, mens of Alaska, attention! Here are some tips for those of you interested in wooing a woman who has a brain in her head and will NOT entertain your rants and raves, bashing liberals or gays or Muslims or whomever seems to be your ignorant generalization du jour to hate. No one is all one thing. I'm not always nice. I sometimes struggle with listening and slowing down. We hall have our limitations and flaws.

Whoever told people that they need to be perfect at all moments has set all of us up for being utter failures. That doesn't mean you get a green light to be an asshole whenever you feel like it, but the idea that we can all just try our BEST to be kind while also maintaining our integrity? That seems like a thing we could all rally around, right?

So, these are my suggestions to make the sitch here in Alaska a little more civil and less "I'm gonna shoot you if you don't believe everything I'm about to spill out of my unshaven gullet." Here they are:

1 - Stop referring to your trip to the lower 48 as going to the United States. Alaska IS the United States. Stop trying to be separate. It's creates an unfriendly and stand-offish kind of vibe and no one likes to feel like an "outsider."

2 - Stop telling me I'm a "fucking liberal" who voted for Obama and therefore that's why your shoelaces broke and your dog died and your Mom has the Diabeeetus. We are NOT enemies. We are fellow countrymen. Our ancestors likely came over on the same boat from Germany, Poland or Ireland or wherever. WE are the People of the United States of America. WE are. No one has any say in this except the Native People who were slaughtered and sent to "reservations" where there was nothing but sadness and pain. Look it up.

3 - Stop bashing Native People. Stop it. You make me sick.

4 - Stop referring to other cultures by derogatory terms. Again, if it weren't for other cultures, this would be one BORING world.

5 - Travel. Get outside of your comfort zone. You should not be proud of the fact that you've never been outside of Alaska or the REST of the United States. Go look at a tree in Africa. Go see the Bridge of Sighs in Venice (not California, dude). Look at the art work in the great museums of the world. Listen to an opera (not the woman on TV, dude). Try spicy food (meat and potatoes do NOT make the world go around). There's a great big world out there that is NOT Alaska. Get out there.

6 - Stop telling me what is best for me. You have NO fucking idea what it's like to be me (really, you don't want to get inside this head of mine. It's a scary place!). I have panic attacks at odd situations like in the mall at Christmastime. Like when I get near the edges of cliffs or have to go over a long bridge in the mountains with thousands of feet of rock up and down around me. That scares the life right out of me.

7 - Try to learn what empathy REALLY is.

8 - Don't be threatened by my presence around your fucking husband or boyfriend. I don't want your shitty husband or boyfriend. I've got my hands full with the flock of boys who have been around me since I separated from my ex-husband.

9 - Please can we not talk about my stupid ex-husband? I divorced his ass for a good reason. He's a certified schmuck - let's leave it at that, mmmkay?

10 - Yes, the divorce is FINAL. Over. KAPUT. Done. Nada else. K? K.

11 - No, I will not show you my boobs.

12 - No, I really won't.

13 -Not here, not now, and not ever because you KEEP ASKING and it's tacky and demeaning.

14 - Don't tell me how smart you think I am. I know I'm smart. I have worked my whole life to learn things and to keep expanding my learning and curiosity. You might do well to do the same.

15 - When I tell you NO, it means just that. Stop asking.

16 - Don't make assumptions about my political views and affiliations because of where I'm from or because I voted a certain way. If you must know, I'm politically unaffiliated, but it is my privacy here. I am under no obligation to tell you what I think or HOW I voted, nor are you. And frankly, if you're asking, likely we voted on the opposite end of things.

17 - Religion. Don't ask. None of your business. It's a personal decision by each and every human (except those poor souls who've got no choice at all because of where they were born).

18 - Women are NOT inferior. We are DIFFERENT. Not second class citizens (again unless you were born in a certain area of the world).

19 - I love our military. My family has served every branch except the Marines.

20 - Just be nice. Try it. It's easier than being contrary and angry and nasty to your neighbor or acquaintance or colleague.
'

Halloween approacheth!

This is the first year in over 20 years that I find myself living away from Salem, MA during Halloween. Now, for 99% of the world that means absolutely nothing. But for those of us who have lived in the Halloween Capitol of the World (and we take that title quite seriously), it all just feels so strange to be away!

In recent years I dressed up as Cleopatra, Snooki (I know), Manny Ramirez and a host of other ridiculous outfits meant only to make others laugh and point! It's a good excuse to be silly and dance and laugh and show others how "adulthood" does not have to equal "boringhood!"

Here's a bit of the ridiculousness that was my life during October in Salem, MA:

The domestic Cleopatra! (I miss that gorgeous kitchen of mine)

My bestie, Karen. We were probably four or five here.
I believe we were going for Fairy-Princess this particular Halloween.
She can probably tell you the exact date, the time of day and what we ate for dinner.
She's one of those people who has a steel trap memory. Amazing.

Butterflies - homemade by my Momma!
It rained this particular Halloween and I remember crying because my
beautiful costume started to disintegrate! Booo hoooo!

Snooki!! My ex-husband went at Mike - The Situation this year! Hilarious

 Here are the decorations I did today in Alaska! Werd to my Salem homies!

Fall/winter in Anchorage...

Our perpetual motion machines, Phoebe and Jax! 

Spiral staircase with skulls and purple LED lights!

Huh?

Gay skeleton! Faaaabbulooous (said like Paul Lynde would)....

So that's the dealio from AK today! I hope you're all having a wonderful, safe Saturday. 

Ciao for now,
xoxo